Thundercats in the WWF - Part 3
By Pat "Ma-Mutt" Kelly
JR - Hello everybody, I am JR Jim Ross, and here is my partner for the brod
casting position, and he will soon be running for mayor of his hometown of
Memphis, Jerry the King Lawler.
King - and tonight will be great, Vince mcMahon will destroy the minds of
both the Thundercats and that loser of a CEO Stone Cold Steve Austin.
JR - I don't know about that, but anyway let's get to the first match.
FINK - Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the opening round, for the WWF Intercon
-tinental championship. Making his way down to the ring, is the challenger
, from Thundera, the one and only, The Mighty Panthro.
JR - Now remember, thanks to Mr.McMahon, Panthro must be handcuffed to the
ring ropes. But how is Double J going to make the pin.
King - He dosn't have to, just stomp the fool into submisison.
Fink - Now, being accompanied to the ring by Debra, the WWF Intercontinental
Cahmpion, Doulble J, Jeff Jarrent.
JR - Here he comes with that guitar of his.
: Double J steps into the ring, and as Panthro is handcuffed to the ropes, he
hits him with the guitar.
JR - what the hell was that.
King - I loved it.
: But the shots to the head had no effect on the Thundercat. Panthro tries to
grab Jeff, but he runs to the other side of the ring. Panthro stuggles, but
finally manages to snap the handcuffs. Double J runs around the ring.
JR - That jerk deserves this.
: Panthro grabs him and powerbombs the champion to the ground. He picks him
up and does it again. Panthro goes for the pin, but the referee won't count.
JR - Why iusn't he counting.
Fink - The winner of the match, by result of a disqualifycation, the mighty
JR - Panthro wins because of the damn guitar shots but...
King - But he doesn't get the title, haha
: Panthro is angry, so he powerbombs JJ one more time.
JR - Panthro just got robbed.
King - I'm happy, those Thundercats don't deserve title belts.
: The carnage in the ring has ended, and Vince McMahon, along with his group
the Corporate Ministry, walks down to the ring, with a mic in hand.
Vince - Now I would like to ask the crowd in attendance right now, would you
like to see Stone Cold and Lion-O win the cage match tonight.
Crowd - YEAH! STONE COLD! THUNDERCATS FOR LIFE!
Vince - Well being the fair man that I am I am going to let your two favorite
-s for the match be in a warm up match.
JR - What!
Crowd - BOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHUT UP VINCE!
Vince - It will be Lion-O and Stone Cold in one corner and Corporate Ministry
members Viscera and the Big Bossman in the other corner.
Viscera - I will take Austin and squash his small body.
Bossman - and the little kitty kat is going to know what it feels to serve
Vince - and the match will take place, before the cage match. It will be the
very last match before the cage match.
Crowd - BOOOOOO! BOOOOOO!
Vince - Hey, I think I am being fair by giving those two a chance to workout
and prepare themselves
: Then the infoumous theme music of Shawn Micheals the Commisionor of the WWF
was played of the loud speakers
Vince - Micheals, don't you dare come out here
: But Shawn danced out on to the stage
Shawn - Vincent, Vinnie, what ever they call you now, the way I see it I
Austin and Lion-O should have a warmup match.
JR - What?!
Shawn - But unforunatly, Fatty Viscera and The Patrol Cop won't be wrestling.
Instead this will be a handicap match.
Crowd - YEAH!
Shawn - It will be Austin and Lion-O versus that punk kid of your's Vince,
we all know who that is.
Vince - Wait, Shane is not a trained wrestler
Shawn - Hold on there, wasn't that wimp the former European Champion until he
retired the belt.
Vince - Yeah, but...
Shawn - Okay then, the match is set, but Vince don't even think about sending
your Corporate Ministry out during that, cause if you do, the Big Bad Mummy
that is right behind you will be kicked out of the cage match, and The Lord
of Darkness the Undertaker will forfiet the title and the Rock and Drag-Ron
will compete for it. NOW HIT MY MUSIC
JR - WOW!? THE COMMISIONOR HAS TURNED THINGS AROUND! AND THE MCMAHON'S HATE
King - Now what business does Shawn Micheals have to stick his nose right
Vince McMahon's affairs.
JR - His job is to make sure all the matches are satisfactory, and he has
King - But This is not fair to Shane
JR - I think that rich punk deserves it, but now here we have the Rock ready
for his interview backstage. Here is Kevin Kelly with the People's Champion
Kevin - Now Rock, you have to feel a little presured going into this match
thinking that Drag-Ron and the Undertaker are going to team up on you
Rock - Well Kevin Kelly, the Rock thinks you are a little messed up, cause
The People's Champ is never presured, The Rock is always ready to fight and
no jabroni like Vince McMahon is going to stop the Brahma Bull in his tracks,
on a final note, The Rock plans on taking both of those Roody Poos down Know
Your Role Bulivard, and then hang that right on Jabroni Drive, and there it
is the Smackdown Hotel, where I will proceed to bash on both of your heads
from room to room and from floor to floor, and I will walk away with the WWF
title IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!
Kevin - JR, King, Back to you.
JR - Well the Rock is one tough kid, but against those two you have gotta
think his chances are slim.
King - Yes, that punk is going to know the hard way, that you don't cross the
JR - I have gotta believe that the Rock will win the title, but I doubt it.
Fink - This match is half of the double main event scheduled for one fall,
is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship. This match will consist
of three competetors.
: The entrance theme for the Mutants was then played over the loud speakers.
Fink - About to enter the ring, with Team Plundarr, the leader of the group,
from Castle Plundarr, Drag-Ron
Crowd - BOOOOOOOOO! BOOOO! MUTANTS STINK! MUTANTS STINK!
JR - The reason this crowd is booing Drag-Ron is becuase he is going to make
sure that The Undertaker is going to win this match.
King - He's smart, unlike idiots like Steve Austin, this guy did it Vince's
way and he got a couple thousand dollars out of it.
: The Mutants then leave ringside as ordered by their leader
Fink - Now introducing the other challenger.
: A recording of the Rock's main phrase is played over the loud speaker
followed by his theme.
Crowd - ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!
JR - This guy is the youngest WWF champion ever, and he wants that gold
his waist again.
King - Hey this fool would be nothing without Vince.
Fink - Now, the Champion
: The lights dimmed and the Undertaker's theme was played. The WWF Champion
with his manager Paul Bearer stepped out.
Fink - Representing the Corporate Ministry, with his manger Paul Bearer, the
Phenom of the World Wrestling Federation, The Undertaker.
JR - This is the Personification of Evil right here.
King - Yes, and he will walk away with the title belt.
JR - Yeah, because Vince McMahon has Drag-Ron in his back pocket.
King - The rules of this match are interesting. Undertaker can lose the belt
if the one of the other two opponents are pinned.
JR - That means that the Rock can pin Drag-Ron and he will win the belt
: The bell rings and Rock and UT duke it out while the mutant stands in the
corner. The Rock lays the smackdown on the UT with his finisher the Rock
Bottom early in the beating, but Drag-Ron kicks the Rock before a pin can be
JR - SEE SEE! Drag-Ron is nothing more than a McMahon lackey
King - Well JR Drag-Ron wants the belt and he would not have won it.
: The Rock continues to pound on the Undertaker. Drag-Ron still watches. UT
gets up and starts to choke out the Rock. He has him in the choke hold, until
he picks him up with one arm by the neck and slams him down to the mat.
JR - Oh a devestating chokeslam, delivered by the Lord of Darkness.
: The Rock lies on the ground motionless, and at the mercy of the UT. UT
up the Rock's body and slams him down to the mat again. The Rock yells in
and ther UT starts to kick at him. Drag-Ron stragely exits the ring and grabs
a steel chair. Since there is no Disqualifycations, Paul Bearer is allowed in
the ring. He holds the Rock down, and Drag-Ron enters the ring with the
The Undertaker instructs the mutant to hit the People's Champion with the
weapon. Drag-Ron looks like he is about to do it, but he turns around and
strikes The Lord of Darkness over the head with it.
Crowd - YES YES YES
King - What the hell!
JR - Drag-Ron fooled McMahon
:Drag-Ron then struck Paul Bearer with the chair as well. With the Undertaker
down, the Rock was able to set up him up for the most electrifying move in
sports entertainment, THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!
Crowd - ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY
: The Rock took of his elbow pad then threw it into the front row. He ran
the ropes and back, then he stopped at the Undertaker and laid down the Elbow
Drop. Drag-Ron then delevered a leg drop.
JR - The Undertaker is down. Drag-Ron pulled a fast one on McMahon.
: Drag-Ron and the Rock then started to beat up each other while the
was down. The Rock gave out a few punches to the mutant and Drag-Ron
into the corner. Rock then suplexed Drag-Ron down onto the mat next to the
Undertaker. Rocky continued to punch on Drag-Ron until the Undertaker sat up
and pounded on the rock. He picked him up and held him upside down. UT then
gave his finishing move the tombstone Piledriver. However, Drag-Ron picked
up the Undertaker by the hair and did a hurracanranna. He rolled the Champ
up for the pin. 123, and a new Champion is crowned.
JR - OH MY GOD! THIS IS NOT GOING TO PLEASE MR. MCMAHON.
King - But the money that he was paid
: Drag-Ron helped the Rock up to his feet shook his hand, and walk off with
his new title belt.
Fink - The Winner of the Match, and NEW WWF CHAMPION DRAG RON
JR - Now, the Handicap match. Lion-O and Steve Austin vs. Shane McMahon.
Fink - Introducing, one of the owners of the WWF, being accompanied to the
ring by the Pete Gas and Rodney King, the Mean Street Posse, Shane McMahon
JR - This is a very arrogant kid.
King - I bet you would love to see Shane get demolished wouldn't you
JR - Well if anyone deserves it, it is Shane McMahon
Fink - Now, the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, the Texas Rattlesnake
Stone Cold Stve Austin.
JR - Steve Austin is the most charasmatic athelete in the world today.
King - Oh shut your hole, can't you see something terrible is about to
Fink - and his partner, accompanied to the ring by Snarf and Snarfer, from
Thundera, the LORD OF THE THUNDERCATS, LION-O
CROWD - YEAH!!!!!! THUN-DER-CATS THUN-DER-CATS
: Lion-O and Austin stood in the center of the ring looking at their timid
opponent in the corner. Snarf then took the mic.
Snarf - snarf snarf, and if you ain't down with Lion-O, Snarfer's got two
words for ya!
Snarfer - THUNDERCATS HO!!!!!!
:Snarf and Snarfer stepped out of the ring, but not before Lion-O gave the
crowd a good look at the infamous Sword of Omens. The bell rung, and Austin
clotheslined the young McMahon. Lion-O stood in the corner awaiting the tag.
Austin shoved Shane into the corner where he proceeded to kick him in the
He then tagged in Lion-O. The Thundercat Lord waited for mcMahon to get up,
when he did Lion-O slapped a sleeper hold. He threw McMahon to the ground,
put on his finishing move, the Piledriver. Shane was out, but Lion-O tagged
Austin, where he was then able to pick Shane up and give him the Stone Cold
Stunner. He tagged in Lion-O, where he was then able to climb the top rope.
Austin held Shane's arms down so he could not get up, and Lion-O leaped onto
Shane's body, where was then able to make the pin.
Fink - The winners of the match, Lion-O and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
King - Oh this is terrible, look at Shane. He is out.
JR - Now the cage will be contructed, we will be right back, after this short
To Be Continued...
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