Thundercats in the WWF
By Pat "Ma-Mutt" Kelly
JR - Hello everybody this is Jim Ross with his broadcast partner Ro Bear Bill
and tonights show is going to get hot. Tell em Bill.
Bill - Well we've got a six man tag, with the the brother he evil
Undertaker, Kane, teaming up with his new found friends, X-Pac and The D-O-
Double G, Road Dogg of DX against Bee Man, Wolfor, and Porkus, the Super
JR - and you'll get what everybody has been waiting for, THE THUNDERCATS, are
in action. We have Cheetara and Pumyra against The Ninth Wonder of the World
Chyna, and her partner, the ice cold Lunatac Chilla in a Women's Tag Match
Bill- and my friends, the team of the "Tough Tigers" Ben-Gali and Tygra will
be competing for WWF gold when they square off against Corporate Ministry
members The Acolytes, Faarooq, and Bradshaw.
:Then Vince McMahon walke ddown to the ring.
JR - What is he doing down here?
:Vince then grabbed a microphone
Vince - Now, first I would like to introduce someone who will be doing
special commentary with JR and Ro Bear what ever his name is over there.
Bill - What a jerk.
Vince - Now here he is, my son, The 25 year old Shane McMahon.
JR - Oh Lord
:Shane McMahon walked down and took a seat next to Ro Bear Bill.
Shane - It is great to be here. I can't wait to see Stone Cold and the
Thundercats crumble before the Corporate Ministry.
Vince - Now I would like to announce a stipulation four the four corners
match. Now, Austin I would rather kiss dirt then to ever see you as the champ
ever again. and Lion-O, when you hit me, you put your Thundercats in some
deep trouble. So, the women's tag match tonight will be a blindfold match.
And the only ones who will be wearing blind folds will be, Cheetara and
JR - Oh come one, that's not fair.
Shane - Well what's wrong with what my dad said. It'll give those two a
chance to test their in ring abilities.
Vince - Next on the agenda are Tygra and Ben-Gali. You two will be tied to each
others backs, how does that sound. And both tag matches tonight will be
Bedlam rules, so you four don't have to worry about scurrying for tags.
Bill - That is very unfair.
Shane - Oh lighten up you stupid bear.
Vince - Now, in the next show we've got Panthro looking to get the IC title
way from Double J, but here is the stipulation. Panthro must be handcuffed
to the ring rope
JR - Oh that is an easy win.
Shane - Ha Ha, well you know Panthro gloats about his strength of his, so
let's see what he's got.
Vince - Now as for the Four Corners match in the future. The match will be a
Steel Cage Match. And the only way to win, is to be the first man to climb
out, or to pin all of your opponents. But Lion-O, Austin, I have been assured
you will not win that match.
:Then with a bang, Stone Cold Steve Austin, appeared on the entrance ramp.
JR - Oh yeah, bussiness just picked up.
Shane - That jerk has no reason being down here.
:Austin then picked up a microphone.
Austin - Now, first off all, me being the CEO of this company, I can make
stiplations of my own, and here is mine. There is to be no interference of
any kind during any of the matches, especially the four corners cage match.
:Then a figure covered in black shadowed over Austin. He was wearing a mask
>From behind he grabbed the back of Austin's neck and pushed him down. Stone
Cold was out.
JR - Who in the hell is that.
Shane - I don't know, but I like it.
Bill - This must be that mystery opponent for the match.
JR - and I bet you do know something Shane.
:Minutes later, the figure left with Vince.
JR - Let's get to our first match
Fink - Ladies and Gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall and is
for the world wrestling federation Tag Team championships. Now, coming down
to the ring are the challengers, representing the Thundercats, from Thundera
being led by Lynx-O. Ben Gali, and Tygra the Tough Tigers
Shane - Thses guys are punks. Always showing off their powers. Good god these
guys are going to get whipped.
Fink - Now, coming down to the ring, the WWF Tag Champions, representing the
Corporate Minsitry, Faarooq and Bradshaw, The Acolytes.
JR - These guys are evil. Well what do you expect when they serve the Under
Shane - Hey, The Corporate Ministry is just out to get rid of anyone who
stands in our way.
Bill - Now Tygra and Ben Gali are being tied together.
JR - Now remember, this is Bedlam rules meaning anything goes.
: Tygra and Ben Gali try to walk, but trip almost immediately. Faarooq starts
to kick at the Thundercats.
JR - How are the tigers going to win this match.
Shane - Shut up Jimmy!
: Tygra and Ben Gali manged to force themselves up. Tygra then bent down and
Ben Gali kicked Faarooq, knocking him out of the ring. Ben Gali then lifted
Tygra on his back he kicked Bradshaw. Bradshaw, in a fit of anger picked up a
steel chair and nailed Tygra in the head with it. Tygra was almost out. Then
on the outside, Faarooq turned his attention to Lynx-O, he tried to tackle
him, but the elder Thundercat tripped Faarooq as he moved out of the way.
Bill - Good job Lynx-O
Shane - Come on Faarooq, don't let that old gezer get the best of you.
:Ben Gali then dragged Tygra's unconscience body acroos the ring. Faarooq and
Bradshaw then hit Ben Gali with chairs. Both Thundercats were out. Faarooq
was about to make the pin when the other Corporate Ministry Memebers, Triple
H, Chyna, The Mean Street Posse, Viscera, Midian, and The Undertaker ran in
to destroy the Thundercats. Suddenly the Thundercats with The Union ran down,
all with 2X4s. They hit and got rid of all the CM accept for Faarooq who got
nailed over the head by Mankind. Faarooq was out. Lion-O then untied Ben Gali
and Tygra. Tygra rolled on top of Faarooq, and 123, new TAG CHAMPS.
JR - THEY DID IT!
BILL - YES! IN YOUR FACE SHANE!
Shane - NO! THAT WAS A CHEAT WIN. THIS IS NOT RIGHT.
Fink - The winner of the match, and NEW, WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION, TAG TEAM
CHAMPIONS, BEN GALI AND TYGRA, THE TOUGH TIGERS!
JR - Now on to our women's tag team match.
Shnae - Oh yeah, the Thunder Women are going to be blindfolded, and Chyna is
going to walk away with the win.
JR - She has a partner you know.
Shane - Ah, Chyna can whip all three of them if she wanted.
Fink - This is our women's tag team match, scheduled for one fall, coming
down to the ring, from Darside, representing the Lunatacs, Chilla.
JR - This girl is has a hear of ice.
Bill - She shows absolutely no mercy for anyone.
Fink - and her partner, representing the Corporate Ministry, with Triple H,
the 9th Wonder of the World, Chyna.
:Both women stood in the ring awaiting their opponents.
Fink - and their opponents, from New Thundera, being accomponied to the ring
by Wily Kit and Wily Kat, Representing the Thundercats, Cheetara and Pumyra.
:As the two Thundercats entered the ring, they put on the blindfolds as was
McMahan's stipulation. But before the bell rang, Vince McMahon came out and
stood on the stage near the entrance ramp. He had a micorphone in hand.
Vince - Now I know I said this would be, a anything goes type of match, but
after what happened to the Acolytes, both The Union and The rest of the Thund
-ercats are not allowed to come down to the ringside, or they will be fired
on the spot, meaning that lets say if Tygra gets involved in the match, both
the Union and the Thundercats will be fired,
JR - That's not fair
Shane - Yes, thank you dad, now this can be a fair match.
Bill - But why aren't the Corporate Ministry members not allowed here?
Shane - Oh wise up, their my buddies, they would not come down here.
JR - Yeah right.
Vince - and, Thunderkittens, you are also suppose to leave. I am sorry, but
I have to do this.
JR - What the hell, why not get rid of Triple H as well
Shane - Oh Triple H is harmless down there
:The Thunderkittens then left the ring area, and walked past Vince. As Vince
was about to leave, Shawn Micheals appeared on the titan tron video screen.
Shawn - Hey there Vin Man, now I being the Commisionor of the WWF, I noticed
you forgot to make sure some people don't interfere during this match. Now
lets see, old frost face there belongs to the Lunatacs, am I correct.
Vince - Yeah so
Shawn - SOOOO, The Lunatacs are barred from ringside. Oh and Chyna belongs to
your group, right.
:Vince then starred into the screen.
Shawn - Well since she is, The Corporate Ministry is barred from ringside, oh
and Hunter, Mr. H, whatever they call you now, get the hell out of their and
go hit the bricks, your done for tonight.
: Triple H was then forced away from ringside by WWF officals.
Shawn - Now it looks my job is done.
JR - Well even if the Commisionor helped out the Thundercats, they still are
at a disadvantage.
Shane - Yeah, they're blind, ha.
: The bell rang and Cheetara immediately tackled Chyna.
Shane - What?
Bill - Oh yeah, Cheetra's sixth sense is helping her out.
: She started to unload a round of punches on Chyna's face. Chilla was doing a
litle better with Pumyra, as she was guessing where to punch. Eventually,
Pumyra was able to clothesline Chyna over the top rope. Cheetara was still
beating on Chyna. Pumyra stood in the turnbuckle corner and heard Cheetra
yell "When I say now, raise your foot.". Chyna was then thrown into the corner
and right into Pumya's boot. Pumya found her way up the top rope and jumped
on Chyna, on Cheetara's call. The Referee was about to make the count as
Chilla came back with a steele chair. She tried to hit Pumyra off of Chyna,
but Cheetra kicked the chair, and it smashed right into Chilla's face. 123,
and it is a very quick win for the Thundercats. As the blindfolds were removed
the two celebrated.
JR - That was amazing.
: The two winners were in the ring as the image of the Thundercats dressing
room being blocked by two forklifts, and The Union fighting the Lunatacs
infront of it. The Acolytes then made their way down the ramp.
JR - What the, what buisiness do they have here.
: Faarooq actually hit Pumyra across the face, Chilla had already left, but
Chyna and Bradshaw started to beat on Cheetara.
JR - This is sick, and no one is around to help them.
:Then, WWF superstars D Lo Brown, and Mark Henry ran down to help the fallen
Shane - What the hell are those losers doing down here.
JR - They're here to help Cheetra and Pumyra.
Bill - Oh yeah
: D Lo and Henry beat on the Acolytes for a while when they with Chyna ran.
D Lo and Henry helped the two Thundercats to the back.
JR - Thank God D Lo and Henry showed up when they did.
Shane - Those two idiots had no buisseness down here.
Bill - Do you actually condone what was going on.
Shnae - Hey it was after the match, they were allowed at ringside.
JR - I just got word that the forklifts have been moved, and Cheetra and
Pumyra are with their comrads right now.
Fink - Our next match is a six man tag match, and making their way to the ring
from parts unknown, Wolfor, Bee Man, Porkus, The Super Mutants.
JR - These guys make King Kong look like a shrimp
Fink - Now introducing, the sole survivors of D-Generation X, X Pac, and the
Road Dogg Jesse James.
JR - The Fink just said it right there. DX use to be Billy Gunn, Triple H,
and Chyna with those two, but they left obviously.
Fink - and their tag team partner, The Big Red Machine, Kane
JR - Kane is the brother of the Undertaker as most of us know, but both him
and Paul Bearer abondoned him, so his new friend X Pac is trying to help him
learn the ways of the world.
:The masked Kane raised his arms slowly when he reached the center of the ring
and forced them down, causing the turnbuckle posts to explode with short
blasts of flames. Before the bell even rang, Shane McMahon left his brodcast
position and grabbed a pole from outside of the ring. He then nailed X Pac in
the back of the head with it. Kane ran after the McMahon, while Billy Gunn
ran in from the audience and attacked Road Dogg. Both of them fought into the
audience, and no members of the team was left. In anger, the Super Mutants
ran off into the back.
Fink - This match goes to a no contest.
JR - I can't beleive Shane and Billy Gunn ruined a match.
Bill - Hey at least he's gone.
JR - Okay, Part 3 of this event will be shown, wait here comes Vince McMahon
and the masked figure from earlier, who attacked Steve Austin.
Vince - Now I know that some of you are thinking, that this man next to me is
the mystery, 4th opponent in the Steel Cage match. But you are wrong. I will
reviel Ausin's attacker in a few moments, but I would like to call Drag Ron
down here now.
JR - What does he want with Drag Ron?
Bill - Well he does have a title match with Corporate Ministry member the
Undertaker, maybe Vince wants to take him out.
: Drag-Ron, with the rest of Team Plun-Darr(Muatnts and Super Mutants) came
down to meet with Vince
Drag Ron - Now what in the name of Plun Darr do you want, Vince?
Vince - Well, you know the Undertaker is the champion for my team.
Drag Ron - Yeah
Vince - Well, if I give you, this 1000 dollars right here.
:Vince pulls money from pocket
Vince - Will you, uhhh.
Drag Ron - Throw the match
Vince - Now I don't like saying things like that, just make it a little bit
easier for the Undertaker, we all know he works hard,
JR - No, don't take it.
:Drag-Ron then left with the money, and his followers close behind.
Bill - So is he going to throw the match.
JR - I guess so.
Vince - Now, lets rip off that mask.
:Vince then turned to the masked figure and removed the mask.
JR and Bill - MUMM-RA!
Vince - Let me introduce you all to the newest member of the Corporate
Ministry, MUMM-RA THE EVERLIVING
JR - He has just sold his soul to the devil.
Bill - Who Vince?
JR - No, Mumm-Ra
Mumm Ra - Lion-O, Steve Austin, I am going to make your lives living,
:Steve Austin then arrived on the stage.
Austin - I will get my revenge on you, and when it is all said and done you
mummy, you will know that Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass
Mumm Ra - Ha Ha Ha, Austin, you only got a tiny piece of my power Austin,
when that cage match rolls around, you will feel the powers of both me and my
masters, The Ancient Spirits of Evil
Austin - Well, you are going to need their help because I have got a little
suprise for both you and that loser McMahon
:On theentrance ramp, Panthro, Lion-O, Ben Gali, Tygra, and the Union, appear
-ed. Then they, with Austin ran down to attack. Mumm-Ra quickly made work of
Tygra and Panthro by clotheslining them over the top rope. Austin was thrown
aside, and Lion-O was attacking Vince. Mumm-Ra then delivered two chokeslams
to Ben Gali. Mumm-Ra then got rid of the Union Lion-O was alone attacking
McMahon. Mumm-Ra then turned him around and gave Lion-O a belly to belly
suplex. After Lion-O was down, Mumm-Ra choked him on the mat, with the
battered McMahon cheering on. Austin got up on started to hit Mumm-Ra in the
back, but it had no effect. Mumm-Ra then chokeslammed Austin on top of Lion-O
and Mumm-Ra stood over the both of them triumphantly.
JR - Okay, this portion of the show has to end now, but after we show you
videos of how the title match and the cage match became reality.
Voice Over - THE WWF TITLE, It is the most coveted prize in the wrestling
world. Three superstars will be competing for this gold belt, here is how it
JR - The Undetaker just gave the Rock a tombstone on the chair, this is un
called for... The Rock needs to be strechered out of here.
The Rock - Undertaker, you think you impress the Rock by rolling your eyes
into the back of your head. If you want to impress the Rock then you will
turn your head around like the Excersist, remove your head and catch it with
your hands and watch your back, because I am going to follow you everywhere
you go, IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!
Undetaker - Boy, stop the Nursery Rymes and act like a man. I will rip you
apart any day of the week, and you know it.
Rock - Prove it then, beat the Rock in a title match at this event for the belt
and then you may impress the Great One.
JR - What a sec, the lights have just gone out... Drag Ron's voice!
Drag Ron - Both of you fools, if you have any guts, then you will put me into
this match, and I will walk away with the title.
VOICE OVER - This match came into play a few months ago, the night after
WrestleMania, the night after Austin won back the title.
JR - The Undertaker's Ministry have just abducted Vince's daughter, Stephenie
Vince - Where is she Shane?
Shane - I don't know, I don't know
Vince - YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO WATCH OVER HER, WHY DID YOU ABANDONE HER!... Ken
Shamrock, I need your help, please find my daughter.
Ken - I'll find your daughter Vince.
JR - Ken Shamrock has just entered the boiler room looking for 20 year old
Stephinie McMahon... Wait is that her?... What the hell did they do to her, she
is covered in makeup with the Undertaker symbol painted on her head, she is
scared to death... What did the Ministry of Darkness do to her?
Undertaker - When it is all said and done McMahon, she will be mine, and she
will allow the Purity of Evil to guide her.
Steph - The only time I feel safe is when, is when I'm with my dad.
Vince - I care about Stephinie and I care about her well being.
Voice Over - Soon, Shane took power over Vince's group the Corporation.
Shane - You're not my father anymore.
JR - Oh my god, Shane just slapped Vince.
Voice Over - As Shane grew more powerful, so did a strange bond between forme
-r enemies Vince and Steve Austin.
JR - Undertaker has just abducted Stephinie again... He has got her tied to
that Undertaker symbol.
Paul Bearer - I will now perform the ceremony...Stephenie do you take the Lord
of Darkness to be your husband, in a bond of pure evil.
JR - Oh Hell No
Steph - NO NO NO!
JR - Wait here comes Austin...Austin has just saved Stephinie from a life of
Vince - Thank you Austin
Voice Over - Shane and the Undertaker then formed an alliance and became the
Shane - Hey Vince, who do you think was the mastermind behind the abduction
of your little girl, IT WAS ME! Hey Steph, how did you like that nice black
dress I picked out, wasn't it da bomb.
JR - That kid is sick.
Voice Over - Both male McMahon's were suppose to referee the title match
between Austin and the Lord of Darkness.
JR - Wait, Shane just shoved Vince and Austin has fallen over, the fast 123
and we have a new champion, this is a tradgedy.
Voice Over - For months, The Undertaker spoke of a greater power that was
controling him, and we would all find out who he was.
Shane - Now you will all see who the greater power really is.
Undertaker - I will now show you the one on whom I based the Ministry of Dark
Vince - IT'S ME AUSTIN!
JR - Oh Son of a BEEP
Vince - IT WAS ME ALL ALONG. HOOK LINE AND SINKER. YOU BOUGHT IT, YOU ALL
BOUGHT IT... EVEN MY FAMILY, EVEN MY IMEDIATE FAMILY BOUGHT IT.
Steph - Dad, Shane, How could you be so cruel, how could you be so creul to
Vince - Stephinie, and my wife Linda, Love has nothing to do with it, it's
Linda - Well Vince let's talk business. Earlier today I stepped down as the
CEO of this company, not before I hand picked my own sucessor... It's going
to be a little more casual around the office... how about cut off jeans to
wear.. How about a little Profanity around the office.
Austin - I don't give a rat's BEEP, You son of a BEEP, I just kicked your
BEEP, Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your BEEP
Linda - And finally how about some alcoholic beverages around the office...
Allow Stephinie and me to introduce you to the new CEO.
JR - IT'S AUSTIN!...THIS EVIL DEMONIC PLAN HAS BACKFIRED RIGHT INTO VINCE'S
Voice Over - The new CEO made many changes around the office.
Austin - Vince McMahon makes that much money a year, well add some of those
zeros to Mick Foley's(Mankind) salery, he's having a little trouble paying
his medical bills... That ain't Shane McMahon's salery, it is now the beer
budget... You're fired!
employee - For what?
Austin - for looking stupid, now get out of here... Yo mailboy, you just got
yourself a promotion.
Mailboy - What is my job.
Austin - Your job is to get me a beer when I want one.
JR - Oh my god, Austin has had some workers load fertilizer into Mr. Mc
Austin - The Union will have the choice to fight whomever they choose for the
rest of the season.
Vince - Austin, I know what you want, you want the gold belt don't you, well
if you want it then you will fight Mumm-Ra for a shot at this belt... II have
added a new opponent for you Austin... Lion-O you will beat Austin and I will
pay you all the money to do so.
Lion O - If I beat Austin it is going to be because I want to not because you
want me to.
JR - Lion-O has just nailed McMahon, and Austin is loving it.
Vince - There will be a fourth opponent, and you will both be punished, and
why, 'cause Vince McMahon said so.
Voice Over - Whom ever that 4th man is, you can bet that this will be one of
the greatest matches in known history.
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