Cat and Mouse - Part 4
By Dynasty San
Part four: The Search for the Sword
Warning: LET THE PARTY BEGIN! If you know what I mean. You will. And
also, this part is a bit long.
While Lion-o was having a blast at the doughnut shop, Panthro tried to
wake the Lunataks. The mice were standing behind him. However, only one
managed to stay awake, considering the damage done to them by the Biker
Alluro: "What happened?"
Panthro: "You mean you don't remember? Damn, Chilla must've really worn
you out last night."
Alluro: "It has nothing to do with Chilla! Now, I would really like to
know how you got in."
Panthro: "Simple. Through Limburger's office."
Alluro: "God. What was that bastard on?"
Throttle: "Damned if I know."
Vinnie: "Whatever it is, I want some of it."
Panthro: "OK, guys. That's enough of that." (picks up Alluro, slams him
into a wall) "Now that I've told you how we got in, I want something
Alluro: "OK, OK. Just stop that!"
Panthro: "The Sword of Omens. Where is it?"
Alluro: "I'm not the one who took it. Luna crawled in the vent and
snitched it out. Then, as she told me, she put it somewhere in this city
for safekeeping. I don't know exactly where, but it's somewhere you
wouldn't wanna take the kittens."
Luna woke up. "It's somewhere west of here, but there's no way in hell
I'm telling you where. It's blinded, so don't try anything."
Panthro: "Don't worry. We'll find it."
Luna: "And while you're at it, go get some weed."
Panthro and the mice got in their vehicles and left for the west, to
search whatever was left when the Lunataks attacked. When they reached
the few buildings that were not blasted, they split up.
Throttle searched an abandoned hardware store. There weren't any lights
on, so he had to be careful. He climbed on one of the shelves, felt
around, and touched something. This might be it. He pulled it in, but to
his dissapointment, it was only a wrench. Just then, the shelf
collapsed. Throttle fell off, along with some other things, and fell on
his butt. He sighed. I'm in deep shit now. He got up. He felt around the
counter. Right behind it, he felt a strange shape. Huh? He decided to
see what it was. He placed his hands in more places on the object, when
suddenly, there were hands reaching out for him. They grabbed him,
pulled him to the back of the room, and...
Vinnie was searching a gas station. After much searching, he saw a table
inside with buttons on it. The big one in the middle had the words "push
for big score" on it. What the heck. Won't hurt at this point. He pushed
it. Behind him rose a platform, and on the platform was one of the best
sights a guy like him could wish for: seven beauteous, voluptious young
women in white shorts and halters. All of them were holding pitchers of
beer. "Hi." They all went up to Vinnie, who was thinking SCORE!, and
poured the beer onto their chests. "Sweet!" (We'll stop there for now.)
Modo was at a snack shack, which ws empty at that time. He looked around
(with no interuptions) and found nothing. He left. Panthro got the most
exciting assignment: a bar that was still occupied. He just walked right
in, and as soon as he got the counter, mostly everyone else there looked
at him in amazement. He noticed that the female bartender, who seemed to
be about his age, was blind. No problems here. (Yeah, right.) The
bartender appoached him, touched his shoulder to make sure he was there,
and casually carried on. "What'll it be, hon?" Panthro grimaced. Since
when did women start calling me that? But he placed an order. "Scotch on
the rocks, and make sure it's really strong."
Bartender: "You got it."
Just as Panthro started drinking, Modo walked in.
Panthro: "Done already?"
Modo: "Yeah. That place sure blows. Nothin' there but moldy food."
Panthro: "I'll relieve you from that. Can I get two hot dogs and a large
root beer for him?"
Bartender: "With or without cheese?"
Panthro: "Without. Definately without."
Modo: "How long have you been spying around here?"
Panthro: "What makes you say that?"
Modo: "You know that we hate cheese. That's what."
Panthro didn't bother to answer. He didn't have to. The lady brought
Modo his order. (Yeah, I know. It's a bar. But I thought I'd be nice to
my vermin friend by giving him a little snack.) Modo ate the franks and
drank the root beer. Panthro paid for the stuff. (The cash came with him
when he came to Chicago. I'll explain that later, as well as the police
uniform.) After they were through, three punks came up to the two. One
punched Panthro in the head, but instead hurt his fist. "Ow! What're you
made of, buddy?"
Panthro: "Probably the same things you're made of."
Modo: "Buzz off."
The thugs weren't impressed. (Yet.) "Oooo. You guys scared me, the great
Garry, and my pals. I'm gonna get Barry and Larry some tissues now."
Modo: "Good, they're gonna need 'em. 'Cause you just pissed him off.
When we're through with you guys, you'll be sheding blood."
Garry: (sarcastically) "Whoa, boys. We're gonna die now."
Barry: "Looky here, we just pissed off the..."
Larry: "...geek brigade."
Modo: "Geek brigade, huh? We'll see." (turns to Panthro) "Wanna go
Garry: "Why don't you? Scared? It's actually gonna be quite humiliating,
having to dirty our hands and waste our time with a mouse and a bat."
Panthro crossed his arms. "Damn you. I'm a friggin' panther. Now get
outta the way. I got work to do." The thugs still didn't know what was
to come. "Ooooooo." Barry lounged forward, but, with a single punch to
the gut, Panthro knocked him down. Larry took his turn with the
Thunderian warrior. He placed a key between his forefinger and his
middle finger, jumped forward, and attempted to punch him. But Panthro
easily dodged it. Decidedly pissed, Larry took out a broken sharp
two-by-four and thrusted. Panthro quickly parried it with his nunchucks,
wrapped them around the two-by-four, and pulled it away. As the
assailant stood there in shock, Panthro smacked his right elbow into
Larry's forehead, knocking him out cold. At that point, not only was the
seven-foot-tall Garry staring at him, but everyone else in the bar
(except the blind bartender) was also. Modo clapped.
Modo: "Whoopie. I needed a good show. Thanks, Dyn."
Dynasty San: "No problemo."
Garry: "Who-who was that?"
Modo: "Well, she's only the person who wrote the story."
Bartender: "What? Who?"
Garry: "Oh, hell with the real world." (shakes but still tries to look
macho) "Well, well. You're tougher that I thought." (picks up a bowl of
field rats) "But, you still look whimpy to me." (shakes some more)
Panthro: "You're only a whimp if you just won't give it a try."
Garry: "Shut up! Take me on, scaredy cat."
Panthro: "I don't have time for this. I still gotta look for it."
Garry: "Look for what?"
Panthro: "Something a friend of mine lost. Now, excuse me." (walks right
Modo: "I gotta go, too." (follows Panthro)
Garry: "You fraidies! Git back here!"
Panthro: "Sorry. I got something to do."
Garry: "Oh, I get it. You're walkin' off, so you can make out with your
Panthro was REALLY pissed off. (Now he done it.) He approached Garry,
picked up a rat, and did something Lion-o would've kicked him in the
balls for. (I know what you're thinkin'. What did he do? What did he do?
Well where would the fun be if I told you right now?) Then he picked up
the bowl and placed it on the counter while everyone else (except the
blind bartender) gasped in amazement. Modo was also disgusted.
Modo: "Uh...gross, but at least you made a point. Imagine what'll happen
if you did that in front of a Martian Rat."
Panthro: "I'd like to see the looks on their ugly faces."
Modo and Panthro laughed just as someone came out from behind the
counter. "Disgusting." Panthro was about to ask who he was, but then he
noticed a mirror behind him, and looked all too smug at the reflection.
Panthro: "Yeah, I know. And you really gotta learn how to use better
disguises." (kicks the guy in the nuts) "Now, beat it!"
Just then, the man morphed. His true self was that of a monster, wearing
a red cape, a miniskirt, and a twin serpent design on his chest. Not
only was he ugly as hell, but he was also pissed.
Panthro: "Yeah, I knew it. You can't leave us alone for a minute."
The demon priest ignored him. "Beware the great and mighty powers of
evil! I shall give you hell, for I am..."
Panthro: (rolls eyes) "Mummra, the Ever-living. I know."
Mummra: "You know, you're really starting to piss me off, Panthro. Well,
I'm sure you must know what I'm going to do to you."
Panthro: "Yeah, yeah. I know the routine."
Mummra: "Good, because now I'll..."
Panthro kicked him in the groin a second time, this time harder, causing
him to literally hold his own. Then he held out his nunchucks and gave
him a laser blast. Then he sprayed acid at him, the main target being
Mummra's nuts, and gave him a HUGE amount of pain. That was when
Mummra's energy ran out. The devil priest managed to say, "I'll get you
for this." in a high voice just before he left. Everyone (except, of
course, the blind bartender) gasped in awe.
Panthro: "Man, I sure got lucky that time. It's usually Lion-o who
finishes him off."
Meanwhile, not more than a half-mile away, Lion-o was finished with the
wild teens, and was strolling down the sidewalk. He was dressed in tight
blue jeans, black leather boots, a black t-shirt, and a black vest, and
his hair was still tied back. Just as he approached a nightclub, he saw
a familiar beige mouse staggering in his direction.
Lion-o: "You look like shit."
Throttle: "I feel like shit, too. Before you ask, don't, because I'd
rather not talk about it."
Lion-o: "Well, what have you and the other mice been doing otherwise?"
Throttle gave Lion-o the information. Lion-o pointed to the nightclub.
"I'll look in there. You see what the others have found."
Throttle left. Lion-o approached the lady in front of the building.
"Hold it. Ten dollars admission."
Lion-o: "That's it?" (get's money out of pocket) "That's not a bad
Lady: "OK, maybe it is a little cheap in your case. Ten bucks plus your
Lion-o felt uneasy. "Um...alright." He forked the money over, took off
his shirt, and handed it to her. On his chest was a tattoo, which showed
a large skull, surrounded by flames, with the word RAGE written across
it, the letters also encased in flames. The lady said weakly, "You may
go in." before passing out. Lion-o shrugged and went in. Inside, he
found a bunch of gamblers, showgirls, singers, a booze table, and a
sushi bar. (Hell, the whole story is wierd. Like the next scene.) As the
redhead made his way in, a pair of strangely dressed teenagers landed in
from the celing. They were wearing boots, black shirts with white ones
over them and big red R's on them, the blue-haired boy wore white pants,
and the red-haired girl wore a white skirt. They began to recite their
ever-famous motto. The girl went first.
"Prepare for trouble."
Then the boy.
"Make it double."
Then they said in the same order:
"To protect the world from devestation."
"To unite all peoples within our nation."
"To denounce the evils of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light."
"Surrender now or prepare to fight."
Then a strange cat landed in front of them. "Are we in the right place?"
The teenage pair looked around them and looked surprised.
Jessie: "Meowth's right. Were the hell are we?"
Random gambler: "The Cosmo Catsy Club." (Whadya think? Would you go into
a place like that?)
James: "Oh, crap. Maybe we should tell Giovanni that his machine is out
Jessie: "No way. I'm not leaving until I get some sake. And maybe I can
try the lottery?"
James: (sighs) "OK, but make it quick. Oooo, Burgundy."
As James gets his booze, Jessie slips a quarter into the lotto machine,
pulls the lever, and coins pour out.
James: "Hey, that's pretty good. Who else wants to try it?"
No one volunteered, until Lion-o walked to the machine, sliped in his
own quarter, and pulled the lever. When the wheels stopped, they
displayed "Jackpot", and coins poured out like mad. Everyone stood in
Meowth: "Whoa, this guy is good."
Just then a chimpanzee jumped onto Lion-o's back and shouted, "Gimme a
ride, gimme a ride!"
Jessie: "Give me one, too!"
James: (smacks Jessie) "Pervert."
Lion-o threw the chimp off. "Hey, Rhea! Where in the hell did this chimp
Dynasty San: "I dunno. I just felt like it."
Lion-o: "Yeah? What would you do if I said I just felt like raping you?"
Dynasty San: "Perve. But then, it might not be so bad."
Jessie: "Save some for me!"
Lion-o: "You're the pervert. I can guess what you've done to Throttle."
Dynasty San: "Well, can I help it if he and his bros live in a busted
scoreboard in Quigley Field?"
Lion-o: "Maybe not, but honestly, what happened to him?"
Just then, a blonde woman came into the club. She was wearing a light
brown leotard, matching boots, tights, and on one arm was a sleeve and a
large wristband, and on the other were two bracelets. She had black
spots on her shoulders, neck, and in her hair. Team Rocket noticed that
she had amber eyes with slitted pupils. "Alright, where is that mouse?"
She looked around for Throttle (Maybe now you'll find out.) but found no
vermin. "Hey, mister mouse, where in the blazes are y...?" She paused
when she saw Lion-o, then chuckled. "Hey, you look pretty suave. Who's
Lion-o: "Where were you, Cheetara?"
Cheetara: "I was looking for the sword in this hardware shop when this
beige mouse came in and started touching me, like he suddenly got horny,
or something. I tried to fight back, but he was pretty tough, then he
claimed that he was also looking for the sword. Then he started to
leave, and I wouldn't let him until he told me who he was, and I started
to mess with him so I can interrogate the guy. Sucker got away, though."
Lion-o: "Holy sh...Rhea, you little freak!"
Dynasty San: "What were you expecting? Britney Spears?"
Lion-o: "Yeah, I'm gonna give you hell for sure."
Dynasty San: "Bring it on, Simba!"
Cheetara: "Knock it off. Found anything yet?"
Lion-o: "No. Where is it?"
Dynasty San: "I'm the person who's writing the story. I'm not supposed
to tell you. Believe me, there is more to the story. By the way, your
Thundersquad is here. Cheetara, I suggest you stay out of it for a
Cheetara: "OK. This outta be interesting."
Lindi: "Hey, man. How's it going?"
Lion-o: "Just fine."
Brad: "I'll bet you're getting the hang of your first week of work. By
the way, nice tattoo."
Lion-o: "Yup. It's fun so far. And thanks."
Cheetara snickered, then walked over to the pool table. Lion-o felt
pretty much relieved for the moment. The cops walked over to a table and
picked up a deck of cards.
Lance: "Who's up for some poker?"
All the other cops: "I am!"
Cheetara: "Can I join you?"
Tyrese: "Sure, missy."
Lion-o: Oh, boy. This ain't good.
While Lion-o, Cheetara, and the rowdy officers were having fun (Finally,
he learned to chill.), Panthro and Modo walked out of the bar. Also
outside was a woman in a skimpy black dress and red boots, brown hair
with a white streak down the middle. She ran up to the gray guys.
Modo: "Friend of yours?"
Pumyra: "Am I glad to see you. You won't believe what I saw back at that
Panthro: "What was it?"
Pumyra: "A mouse in a speedo!"
Panthro was a bit pissed. "Of all the..." He walked over to the gas
station and, as he suspected, he saw Vinnie in a speedo, and he also saw
the women in swimsuits. There was a pool with a high-dive board. (I
know, this is getting wierd.) He pounded on the door and yelled for
Vinnie. "Hey, open the damn door!" The girls were startled, and all
Vinnie can say was, "God, he found me." They waited, the girls backed
up, and Panthro busted the door open.
Panthro: "Hey, whadya think you're doin'?"
Vinnie: "I'm having a blast in here!"
Panthro: "Weren't you supposed to be looking for the sword?"
Vinnie: "You think I haven't been trying? I didn't find it. Did you?"
Panthro: "No. Why else would I be out here without it? And where'd you
get that speedo?"
Dynasty San: "Well, where'd you get yours?"
Panthro: "This is NOT a speedo!"
Dynasty San: "It sure looks like a jockeystrap."
Pumyra: "Men. They're so impossible."
Dynasty San: "Yeah. Buff, stupid, ugly, and wears his underwear on the
Panthro: "You sick-o! You've seen the Cheetara Pairings poll on Mummra's
Pyramid. I got more votes than you would've been able to stand." (Nice
poll, by the way. Tygra's my vote. Don't ask me why.)
Dynasty San: "Go back to Hell! The girls down there probably miss you!"
Panthro: "Oh, forget it. The story won't end anytime soon if we go on
Dynasty San: "Good observation. Why don't ya'll visit the garage?"
And so they did. Throttle was already there, still worn out by Cheety.
Charley: "What kind of lady was that?"
Throttle: "I don't know. She seemed to be sort of feline, though."
There was a knock on the door. Charley answered. She gasped.
Panthro: "Hey, girlfriend. We're the good guys."
Pumyra: "Hey, guys. Is that Throttle over there?"
Modo: "Yup, and he looks kinda worn out. What happened?"
Throttle: "I was investigating in a hardware store when this bitch
grabbed me and started to beat me. I said I was looking for the sword,
and she then slammed me against a wall and started to mess with me to
get me to tell her who I am. There was no way in hell I was tellin' her,
so I threw her off me and got outta there."
Panthro: "What did she look like?"
Throttle: "I didn't see her quite well, but she was blonde, pretty, and
had a wierdo outfit on. Although she seemed to have the same eyes as you
and your girlfriend."
Panthro: "Hey, Pummy ain't my...oh my God! This is gonna cost you!"
Modo: "Why? It's not his fault."
Panthro: "Not him. Rhea."
Throttle: "God. What goes on in Dyn's head?" (Wouldn't you like to know,
Mr. Bishonen Mouse? [bishonen=pretty-boy])
Charley: "Forget her. I think I know who you are, but who's she?"
Panthro: "So they told you. Thought they would. She's Pumyra. Pumyra,
this is Charley Davidson."
Pumyra: (shakes Charley's hand) "Nice to meet you."
Charley: "Um, thanks. So what's up with you guys so far?"
Panthro: "So far, this story is crap. Hey, Rhea, did Sano wear you out
last night?" (Sagara Sanosuke [Sanosuke Sagara] is a badass hero from
Rurouni Kenshin. And, no, Sano-san did NOT wear me out! [It's hard to
translate san for certain. I guess means "Mr.", "Miss", or "dear".])
Just then, Team Rocket appeared again. And before they can do their
motto, they realized they were once again in the wrong place.
Jessie: "Where are we this time?"
Charley: "Last Chance Garage. May I help you guys?"
James: "No thanks, Miss."
Jessie: "This is driving me nuts! How are we gonna get that goddamn
Pikachu at this rate?!"
James: "Don't ask me. I didn't build that thing. And when that
mummy-dude appeared and tried to jack with it...oh, boy. He was like..."
(tries to look all high-and-mighty) "'Tremble, mortal fools.' God."
Jessie: "I know. As if that obese fish-guy with the wierdo sword wasn't
Charley: "What sword?"
Jessie: "I don't know. Yesterday, there was a spaceship a few blocks
from that nightclub. There was a big, fat fish running inside, carrying
a short sword with a cat's-eye in the hilt. It glowed, as if it didn't
wanna be taken in. And if you don't believe me, that's your problem."
Panthro: "Then I don't have that problem. Question is, where in this
busted-up city is Lion-o?"
Lion-o was at that time done playing poker with Cheetara and the
officers. He and the squad were walking back to what remained of the
police station. Cheetara wasn't finished seeing what her leader was up
to, so she followed at at distance. Suddenly, when the "officers" were
half a mile away from the station, a siamese cat rubbed against Lindi's
Lindi: "Aww, how sweet."
Marv: "Heh, we'll leave you two alone so you can mess with the cat."
Lion-o: "OK. Se ya at the station, guys."
Jarred: "So long, Leo! And save some for me!" (laughs)
Lindi: "Dum-dums." (bends over and tries to pet the cat) "Here, kitty
The cat backed up and clawed at her in fear.
Lindi: "Aw, come on. I won't hurt you, pussy-poo."
The cat still defended itself. Just then, it noticed Lion-o, sniffed,
and stood up, begging to be held. Lion-o shrugged and held out his arms,
allowing the cat to jump in. The cat purred as he petted it.
Lindi: "Heh, heh. So it likes gorgeous men, eh? Must be a female cat."
Cheetara snickered, then whispered to herself, "Heh, that seems
plausible. I just wish I can find the others." Just then, her sixth
sense provided the answer. Lion-o and Lindi noticed, and rushed to her.
The cat followed.
Lion-o: (annoyed at the cat) "Jeez." (bends down, takes Cheetara in his
arms) "What's wrong?"
Lindi: "Hey, that's the girl who was winning at our game, until you had
the winning hand."
Cheetara: "It's my sixth sense. I just saw a big fish-alien take the
Sword of Omens on board his ship."
Lindi: "The what?"
Cheetara: "The Sword of Omens. It's a mystic sword, imbedded in which is
the source of our power, the Eye of Thundera. Thundera is my home
Lindi: "What kind of relic is that eye? Too bad the guys aren't here to
hear this. They're probably on their way home right now."
Lindi: "OK, I'll confess. None of us are real Earth cops. We were sent
here from various places in the universe. I'm hoping we go back to our
real base soon."
Cheetara: "Well, that's interesting." (releases herself from Lion-o's
arms, stands up) "Anyway, the Eye of Thundera is a powerful item that
lots of beings want for their own. But, it belongs to our leader,
Lindi: "Strange, but pretty sweet. Is this Lion-o guy anywhere near
Cheetara: (grins) "He's standing right beside you."
Lindi: "WHAT?! You mean to tell me that Leo is actually an
extraterrestrial cat commander?"
Cheetara: "I prefer to say, Thundercat lord."
Lion-o: "Great. Now I'm exposed. Well, where's the ship now?"
Cheetara: "Just above Earth's atmosphere."
Cheetara and Lion-o: (together) "The Feliner."
Lion-o: "Alright. Now that we know where it is, let's go!"
Lion-o and Cheetara ran off to get to the Feliner, with Lindi following
close behind. The cats were too busy to notice just then. When they
finally arrived, the Feliner was gone.
Lion-o: "Huh? Now how are we gonna get there?"
Lindi: "I still have my ship back at the wrecked station. We can use
Lion-o: "Define 'we'."
Lindi: "I have an assignment to save this planet. The guys and I are
going with you two. Who knows what the Plutarkians will do."
Cheetara: "Why not? We need all the help we can get. Besides, even
dressed like that, we still have the code of Thundera."
Lion-o: "Alright. Let's go for it."
Lindi: "Are you going to confess to everyone else, cat cop?"
Cheetara: "He ain't no cop at all."
Lion-o ignored the remark. "OK, I will. But let's just go already!" The
two Thundercats and the interstellar policewoman were off.
To Be Continued...
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