The Tick Versus 3rd Earth - Chapter 2
By Bill Taylor
The Tick Versus 3rd Earth
By Bill Taylor
Chapter 2: A Couple Of Eons Later…
Tygra pulled up to Snow Man’s castle in the Thundertank. Even though dressed
in the heavy, insolated thermal gear designed specifically for the cold, the tiger
could not help his chattering teeth. He looked over to his left and started
nudging the Thunderkittens, Wilykit and Wilykat, who had fallen asleep during
“I don’t wanna go to school today, dad…” Wilykit moaned.
“We’re at Snow Man’s castle.” The kittens only groaned and shifted in their
seats. “C’mon, you bugged me to bring you along, now wake up.” Snow Man
had sent them a letter that he had found something very strange in his basement,
a person frozen in a block of ice and asked Tygra to come and take a look at it.
It was Lion-O’s idea for the kids to go with him as a way of getting them out of
the Lair, seeing as how things were calm at the lair and there was nothing for
them to do. Tygra would have preferred to go by himself, after persuading
Panthro to let him drive the Thundertank without him, but Lion-O insisted on
taking the kids. Lion-O didn’t want them running off and getting themselves into
trouble, so he figured Tygra could keep an eye on them. Not that Tygra hated
the kids, but there were times when he really, really, really, wanted to do things
by himself. Not big adventurous things, just small, everyday things that in no
way could possibly lead to trouble.
Tygra eventually shook both kids to coconsciousness and they went inside.
They went down into Snow Man’s basement and, just as he had indicated in his
letter, he indeed had found a person frozen in a block of ice. A big, blue person
that had antennae on his head.
“Who is it?” asked Wilykit.
“What is it?” asked Wilykat.
“I have no idea,” replied Snow Man. “My home is built on what used to be a
lake of some kind.”
“Hmm,” Tygra scratched his chin. “A lake you say? Then I can only assume
that this poor creature must have foolishly gone for a swim and gotten frozen
“That’s what I thought. I found him when I was cleaning my basement out for
“You can tell when its spring up here?” asked Wilykit.
“Don’t patronize me, kitten.”
“I wonder how old he is,” said Wilykat.
“Could be centuries old, seeing as how this planet’s been through a few phases
“Well, I know you’re into this stuff, Tygra, so I thought maybe you could come
up here and take it off my hands cause I sure as heck don’t know what to do
“Take him off your hands?”
“I have to clean out my basement for food and what not, and this thing would
only take up space.”
“It would only take up space at the Cat’s Lair, and I don’t think our
refrigerator is big enough for him.”
“Aw, c’mon Tygra, lets take the ice cube back home!” whined Wilykit.
“Yeah! Let’s thaw him out! I’d love to talk to someone who was around way
back when this place was still first or second Earth!”
“Don’t be silly, Kat. He’s probably dead. He’d just melt with the ice.”
“Well?” glared the Snow Man. Tygra shrugged his shoulders.
“Well… I guess we can take it back with us.”
“You have my humblest thanks.”
The kittens fell asleep again on the way back to the Lair. Which Tygra saw as
a good thing, as it gave him time to think. Tygra felt he had been used. Snow
Man just wanted to dump the ice block on someone else because he had no
idea what to do with it and his aspirations only went to that of cleaning out his
basement. On the other hand, that probably wasn’t too much to ask, but
certainly there must have been a better way of disposing of garbage.
Tygra passed drove through the forests, the kids asleep in their seats while the
big block of ice was still in the cargo area of the Thunder Tank. Tygra didn’t
know what he would tell the others when they saw the ice cube, which would
probably be melted by the time he got there. They would probably tease him
and make fun of him for having agreed to take such a worthless thing back with
him. Maybe. They were his friends, but that wouldn’t necessarily stop them
from making fun of him. Tygra did not like being teased, not even by friends
who meant it in the most harmless ways.
That’s when a tree suddenly collapsed in front of the tank. Tygra stopped just
in time to avoid having it fall on the front hull. The sudden stop made the tank
jerk forward and woke the kids up. “Hey, what’s the big idea, Tygra?” they
“A tree fell, is all,” Tygra looked forward. “But it doesn’t look old or rotten.
Someone made fall.”
“Who would do something like that?”
“Three groups come to mind: Mutants, Lunatacs, and Mumm-Ra.”
“Then we’d better get out of here before anyone else shows up!”
“To true, and so we shall!” Tygra used the Thunder Tank’s front claws to lift
up the tree and toss it aside. Just then, another tree fell. This time, Tygra hit the
gas and the tank burst forward. As trees continued to fall, Tygra kept pushing
the tank faster and faster, swerving and stopping almost every second.
Finally, the trees caught up with him. A tree fell in front of him, then another
tree landed right on top of the tank, pinning them. Tygra, Wilykit, and Wilykat
jumped out to survey the trapping trees.
“Aw shucks! Of all the bad, rotten, stinkin’, no good luck!” whined Wilykit.
“And it’ssss about to get even worsssse, Thunderkitten, yessss!” Slythe
jumped down from the tree and landed right on top of Tygra, pulling him down
with Monkian following. Vulture Man and Jackalman leapt out from the bushes
and grabbed Wilykit and Wilykat from behind, tying them up with chains.
“Son-Of-A-Gun!” yelled Wilykat.
Tygra stood up and punched Slythe square in the face, but before he could
grab his whip, Monkian kicked him in the lower part of his spine. Tygra fell
forward, surprised by the sudden shock of pain to his lower back. Monkian
then picked Tygra up from behind and held him still while Slythe started
ramming his fists into his stomach. Unable to break free from Monkian’s grip,
Tygra was eventually beaten beyond any ability to fight and was tied up with his
own whip. How humiliating.
“HOO-HOO, so much for the gay architect, HOO!” hooted Monkian.
“I’m… not… gay…” Tygra muttered.
To Be Continued...
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