ThunderCats/Sam & Max Crossover
By Bill Taylor
Thundercats, Dogs, and Rabbits, Oh My!
Now in reference to the Sam & Max crossover, I know you're wondering 'What
the Hell are Sam and Max? For those of you who do not follow cult comic
books and were not watching FOX KIDS back in 1998, they are Sam and Max
Freelance Police. Sam and Max are two cult comic book superheroes who
battle the evil in the universe that sane people won't battle because
they're "too darn ignorant to be afraid of most things". Created by Steve
Purcell in the late 1980's, Purcell describes them like this:
"Sam is the 6 foot dog in the ill fitting suit, and Max is the 3 foot
rabbity thing. They call themselves 'Freelance Police' because they figure
that gives them license to do whatever they want. I think people like Sam &
Max because they just fight crime because they think its fun. There's no
overbearing sense of duty in them like with super heroes. I just drop them
into any situation imaginable and as long as they have plenty of excuses to
blather with each other, it works for me." (This information source was a
1997 WIZARD magazine. WIZARD, for all your comic book information and
So its like Steve said. Sam is the 6-foot dog in the ill-fitting suit and
Max is the three-foot rabbity thing. To expand on that a little bit, Sam is
usually the straight man, cool, confident, collected, where as Max is a
deranged little maniac that runs around buck-naked. They've appeared in a
number of comic books and they even had their own show on FOX, but it was
not renewed. Damn Fox executives. Anyway, these guys are like Abbot &
Costello, Laurel & Hardy, the Three Stooges, the Blues Brothers and Riggs
and Murtagh (Mel Gibson and Danny Glover's characters from the LETHAL
WEAPON films) all rolled into one. They're pretty funny, during their
misadventures over the years, Sam & Max have battled demons in Supermarket
aisles, taken on self-combusting voodoo priests, and eaten fried weasel on
a stick. And now they tackle their greatest challenge ever: The Perils of
By Bill Taylor
It was a warm, beautiful spring day on Third Earth. The Sun shined, the
flowers blossomed, and there was hardly a cloud in the sky. It was like
something out of a really fancy painting they hang in museums. Then, the
peace, the serenity of it all, was disturbed by the sudden, unpredictable
appearance of a very bright, giant hole in the sky. Out from this hole came
an old police car that plowed into a bed of roses with two creatures inside
Lion-o looked up from where he was laying with Cheetara and saw where the
bizarre vehicle landed. He nudged Cheetara till her head stirred and she
looked up at him. "What is it, Lion-o?" she asked.
"Some bizarre vehicle just landed over there in that bed of roses. The
occupants could be hurt."
"Oh, we'd better see to it, then," she said rubbing her eyes and yawning.
"Right, but let's call in reinforcements just in case." Lion-o reached
over to where he laid down his sword and his clothes and pulled out his
communicator. "Lion-o to Tower of Omens, Lion-o to Tower of Omens, come in."
"Tower of Omens responding," came Lynx-o's crusty voice over the radio.
"Come back, Lion-o."
"A bizarre vehicle of unknown type just landed out here in the fields of
Third Earth. Cheetara and I are going to check it out, but we'll need some
"Ten four Lion-o," replied Lynx-o. "I'll send Bengali and Pumyra."
"Roger that, over and out."
1 hour later...
The Thunderstrike landed by the spot Lion-o had indicated. Bengali and
Pumyra jumped out and ran towards their lord and his on again off again
mistress. "Okay, we're here, now what's the situation?" asked Bengali.
Lion-o pointed towards the police car that was plowed into a bed of roses
only about a yard away from them. "That vehicle landed here about an hour
ago. It came out of some kind of portal and just landed here."
"Where did it come from?" asked Pumyra. "Another planet? Another
dimension? Another time?"
"We don't know yet," answered Cheetara. "The occupants might be hurt, we
haven't seen any activity since it landed. That's why you're here, Pumyra."
"Okay, let's see what condition they're in."
"Hey, Cheetara, how come you've got grass in your hair?" asked Bengali.
Cheetara blushed. "I, I fell down."
"How many times?"
"Uh, Bengali," Pumyra pulled Bengali towards and whispered something in
his ear. Bengali widened his eyes and began to sweat.
The Thundercats approached the police car, as they assumed it to be,
seeing as how it had markings on it similar to ones on Mandora's bike. As
they approached they saw two bizarre creatures get out of the vehicle. They
were unlike any other creature the Thundercats had ever seen.
"What are they?" asked Pumyra.
"Well, the big one looks like a six foot dog in an ill-fitting suit, the
other one looks like a three foot rabbity thing," answered Lion-o.
"Oh, of course."
The two creatures were looking at big piece of paper, most likely a map,
and appeared to be arguing with each other.
"Now dang it, Sam," said the rabbity thing, "the map said to go left for
Las Vegas Earth."
"Uh Max, you might want to look at the big folded section right there,"
replied the dog known as Sam. Sam pulled on the sides and unfolded the map
to its full size. "Hang a right for Las Vegas Earth, hang a left for a time
"Oops," said the rabbity thing called Max. "Well, then when and where in
the Heck do you think we are, Sam?"
"Hmm, judging by the lush green landscape, clean air, beautiful sky, I'd
say we're in the distant future," replied Sam. "A future so distant, so far
beyond reach, our exploits and adventures have become the stuff of myth and
legend and have become mass marketing tools for the box office, or have
been totally forgotten. My guess is that we're probably in Ohio."
"Yeah, but the cat people up there would suggest South Africa," Max said
pointing to the Thundercats on the hill above them."
"Cat people? Where?"
"Up there, Sam. On that hill towering above us." Then Max lost it. "Oh my
God! Sam, the whole world as evolved into cat people! We're doomed! Doomed!
They'll cook you and make dinner out of your intestines! They'll make me a
lab animal perform strange experiments! Or even worse, they'll make me into
a pair of bunny slippers! Oh the humanity!" Max began breaking down into an
insane, shell of his former self. The Thundercats exchanged questionable
glances with one another.
"Get a hold of yourself Max!" Sam said grabbing his rabbit pal off the
ground and slapping him silly until he calmed down.
"Thanks Sam, I needed that." Max looked up at the Thundercats, who were
giving them scrutinizing looks. "So, should we talk to the natives or what?"
"I guess it's alright. My folks raised me to respect and tolerate all
living things up to a point before you have to whack them with mallets.
That includes cats." Sam and Max motioned the Thundercats to come down.
"They don't appear threatening, but keep your guards up," cautioned Lion-o
as he and his crew moved down the hill. Lion-o approached Sam and Max as
non-threateningly as he could and introduced himself. "I am Lion-o, lord of
the Thundercats. This is Cheetara, Bengali, and Pumyra. Who are you?"
"We're Sam and Max, Freelance Police!" Sam and Max pulled out their badges
and showed them to Lion-o.
"Champions of Justice!" continued Max in his usual rambling manner.
"Righters of wrongs! Agitators of super villains everywhere!" Then Sam
whacked Max on the noggin.
"Don't mind Max. He's just being overzealous."
"What are Freelance police?" asked Lion-o.
"Basically, it means we're freelance do-gooders who have license to do
whatever we want in the name of upholding truth, justice, and the pursuit
of happiness," answered Sam. "We were on our way back from saving a distant
galaxy from being devoured by one of those giant, floating space deities
and were on our way to Vegas, but we took a wrong turn and went down one of
those pesky time warp holes you hear so much about. And here we are now."
"Just out of curiosity, what's a Thundercat, anyway?" asked Max.
"We Thundercats come from the planet of Thundera. Sadly, Thundera was
destroyed and we were forced to come here, the last of our kind."
"Kind of like Superman's parents sending him to Earth from Krypton,"
"Who?" asked Lion-o.
"Oh never mind."
"Psst, hey Sam, come here." Sam bent down to hear what Max had to say.
"You know, those female Thundercats over exude an aura of physical appeal
that's really se-" before Max could finish, Sam slapped his hand on Max's
"Nuh-uh-uh, Max. This is a kid's fan-fic, remember?"
"But the writer's already implied that-"
"Implying is one thing, but we can't have that kind of dirty language in a
wholesome story like this one. Besides, we shouldn't do anything to tick
them off. Remember when you used those X-Ray specs to see through Hera's
loose fitting robe?"
"But I do have to agree with ya. The blonde over is pretty cute."
"Yeah, I dig the brunette though."
"You never could resist an incredibly short skirt, Max." Sam turned his
attention back towards Lion-o. "So, anything we can do to help you good
"We were about to ask you the same thing," said Lion-o.
"Nah, we're fine."
"But one question remains, Sam, how the Hell do we get out of here?"
"Easy Max, Vegas isn't going anywhere."
"Not going anywhere? Sam, this is the future, its already gone!"
"No its not, all we have to do is wait for that pesky time portal to
reappear then we can drive through it and go back home."
"Oh, of course. How silly of me. Wait, how do we know if it'll come back?"
"Oh it will. If I know my pesky time portals, that thing should be coming
back in about oh, six hours at the latest. Until then, we can make
ourselves at home, hanging out with these suave cats."
"Just be careful you don't invade their territory," quipped Max.
"You crack me up, Max," Sam laughed.
Suddenly, the Eye of Thundera embedded in the Sword Of Omens started
"Danger!" exclaimed Lion-o. Lion-o pulled out the Sword and held it up to
his eyes. "Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight."
"Hey Lion-o, need some Visine there?" asked Max.
"What do you see, Lion-o?" asked Cheetara.
"The Tower of Omens is under attack by the Lunatacs!" Lion-o paused.
"They're already inside! They have Lynx-o!"
"Lynx-o!" exclaimed Bengali and Pumyra. "We have to get back to there now!"
"You want we should come along, too?" asked Max.
"No, Max!" said Lion-o. "The Lunatacs are far too dangerous!"
"Dangerous smangerous! We're the Freelance Police, we crave danger!"
"What he means," Sam cut in, "is that we've been dealing with the criminal
element since long before you were born. We might be able to help you out."
Lion-o scratched his chin then he turned to look at the others. "I don't
like it, but what do you think?"
"Maybe they can help us," said Cheetara.
"I agree. Besides, we're gonna need all the help we can get," added
"Alright, then let's do it!" Bengali, Cheetara, Lion-o, and Pumyra got
into a circle, put their hands in, and then threw up their arms and yelled
"Thundercats! HO!" and ran for their Thunderstrike.
"Thundercats HO. What does that mean, Sam?"
"I don't know, little buddy. I guess it's their battle cry or something."
"Do you suppose we should try it?"
"Why not? I got ten minutes." Sam and Max put their fists on top of each
other, threw up their arms and yelled "Freelance Police! HO!" Then they got
into their car and flew off following the Thunderstrike.
To be continued...
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