The Tick Versus 3rd Earth - Chapter 6
By Bill Taylor
The Tick Versus 3rd Earth
By Bill Taylor
Chapter 6: The Tick VS The Lunatacs
“Luna! The other Thundercats are finally coming!” yelled Alluro.
“It’s about time! Its almost mid night!”
It was night when the Tick, Tygra, Wilykit and Wilykat finally made it home
tying up Grune had slowed them down a little bit. They saw a most startling
sight. The sight of the Lunattacker parked right outside the Cat’s Lair, the
drawbridge half way in, and the some noticeable cracks.
“Friend of yours?” Tick asked.
“Lunatacs!” yelled Wilykat. “They attacked while we were gone!”
“Now they’ve got everyone inside! We’ve got to save them!” yelled Wilykit.
“Wait!” Tygra held both kittens back. “Going in gung ho is probably just what
they want us to do. Why else would they still be here?”
“What are Lunatacs?” asked Tick.
“Bad people just like the mutants and Grune. Maybe worse. They’ve got
powers. They can freeze stuff, control gravity and minds and other things.”
The Tick, Tygra, Wilykit, and Wilykat entered the lair via the air conditioning
shaft. Tygra lead the way, followed by the Thunderkittens with Tick in the very
back. Tick found crawling through the shaft was most difficult.
They spent about an hour or two crawling around, trying to find out if the
Lunatacs were all in one room or divided throughout the lair. The foursome
eventually found that almost all the Lunatacs were gathered in the control room.
Only Chilla was missing.
“Is it me, or did they abandon that tank?” asked Luna.
“I knew we should’ve hidden our Lunattacker.”
“If I know the Thundercats, they’ll try to sneak in and take us by surprise,”
said Alluro flatly.
“Well, there’s going to be a little surprise in here for them!”
“You never could resist an old cliché, could you Luna?”
Then Chilla came into the room, looking very agitated. “Finally back! How do
you like your new room, Chilla?” asked Luna.
“Remind me to thaw out that fur ball butler of theirs!”
“That Thundercat ho Cheetara’s bed is disgusting! The sheets are covered with
chocolate fudge stains!”
“So Cheetara was the one who ate the fudge!” exclaimed Wilykit.
“SHHH! You want them to hear?”
“Chocolate?” asked an anxious Amok. “Chocolate? Where? Where?”
“Later, Amok,” said Luna, temporarily pacifying her beast of burden. “Later.
What’s the big deal about chocolate fudge?”
“I will not sleep in a bed covered with fudge! It’s unsanitary!”
“I always figured Cheetara was a binge eater,” said Alluro.
“And to make things even more unsanitary, there are even more stains on the
“More stains?” Luna was puzzled until a certain nod from Chilla tipped her off
as to exactly what she meant. “Oh… And Lion-O protests that she wasn’t a
ho,” Luna sighed flatly.
“That’s no way to talk about a lady!” Tygra felt compelled to satisfy his sense
of moral outrage. He smashed the vent open and jumped down cracking his
whip, the Thunderkittens followed, Tick temporarily held up.
“Can’t… follow! Ventilation shaft! Too… narrow!” Tick struggled not only to
break free, but to break free without drawing too much attention to himself.
“It’s the Thunderbrats and the gay architect! It’s about time!”
“I am not gay!” Tygra defied for the umpteenth time. “Why does everyone
think I’m gay?!”
“You hang out with Panthro in the Thunder Tank so much?” asked Wilykat.
“That’s not even remotely gay!”
“Enough of this nonsense! Get them!”
Tug-Mug shot out his gravity beam at them, making them light as feathers and
making them float, while Alluro threw out his psych club ball.
“Give up Thundercats! You cannot win against the power of Alluro!”
“No!” yelled a defiant Tygra. “Must… fight!”
“Fight? Why bother? You have no power to fight me, Thundercat!”
“No! I have… power!”
“No! You have no power!”
“Am I wrong, Thundercat? We’ll see who’s wrong!” In a matter of seconds,
Tygra, Wilykit, and Wilykat lost their will.
“We have no power.”
“Who is your master?”
“You are, Alluro.”
Tick couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This wasn’t the first time he had
seen mind control, but he still didn’t like it. With a few mighty twitches of his
muscles, Tick broke the shaft open and fell down into the control room before
the stunned Lunatacs. Standing up, brushing himself off, the Tick pointed his
finger at them.
“Villains, I say to you, knock off all this/that evil!”
“And who are you?”
“I am the Tick! Champion of justice! Protector of the innocent! Defender of
“You don’t look like a tick.”
Tick ignored that. “Set them and their friends free, or I’ll clock you all one!”
“Brave words, but clocking us is easier said than done! Get him!”
As Tick rushed forward, Tug-Mug shot out his green beam and increased the
Tick’s gravitational pull. Tick suddenly felt himself being pulled down. “Feel like
the weight of the world is on your shoulders, mighty Tick?” Tug-Mug laughed.
“Like… shit… you… pancake!” Despite the extra gravitational pull, the Tick
continued to press forward.
“Is it me or is he still coming?” asked Alluro.
“NO! It’s not possible!” To Tug-Mug’s horrorific discovery, the Tick was
indeed still advancing.
“I’ll cool him off!” Chilla shot out an arctic blast, covering Tick in ice, but it still
didn’t stop him. “Okay, now I’m a little worried.”
“Already on it,” Alluro brought down his psych club ball in front of a half frozen
Tick. “Listen to me, Tick. You have no power. You cannot win. Give up, and
we will let you live!”
“Never!” yelled Tick defiantly. “I’ve never given into evil before, and I’m sure
as Hell not gonna start now!” Slowly, Tick made it over to Tug-Mug, who was
frozen in horror, ripped off his gravity cannon, picked him up, and threw at Red
Eye, knocking the two back into a wall and releasing Tick from the extra gravity
and dropping Wilykit, Wilykat, and Tygra. Tick then rushed Alluro and kicked
him in the face, causing him to drop his psych club and the mind control balls
Tug-Mug managed to get himself out of the wreckage of the wall and rushed at
Tick, looking mad as Hell. Tug-Mug bounced up and down so he could pound
Tick in the face with his right fist a couple of times, but Tick eventually grabbed
hold of his mo-hawk, punched him back, and then threw him through another
wall. Tick ran over to Alluro, grabbed the psych club and when Tug-Mug came
back at him, Tick him across the face, sending him out knocked him out through
the big monitor. “Batter up!” Tick yelled as he promptly broke the psych club
over his knee.
When Tick turned around, he came face to face with Alluro, who was not
happy that Tick had broken his psych club. Alluro kicked Tick in his gut, and
gave him a left and a right hook in the mouth. Rebounding from the right hook,
Tick grabbed Alluro’s wrist, and gave him a few swift kicks in the stomach,
causing Alluro to vomit. Tick grabbed Alluro by the neck and tossed him
through the hole that Red Eye was charging out of. Tick and Alluro were about
the same height, but Red Eye was more massive while Tick was more slender.
Red Eye started ramming his fists into Tick’s stomach like a bull, but Tick hit
him back, striking him down. As Red Eye stood back up and avoided one of
Tick’s kicks, he himself kicked Tick right in the store. Tick was briefly stunned,
giving Red Eye an opportunity to try and headlock him, but Tick grabbed the
wrist just in time and threw him over his shoulder.
“Get him Red Eye!” cheered Luna.
“Dirty fighter! Dirty fighter!” Amok yelled.
Red Eye performed an almost impossible martial arts move for someone as
large as he, doing a spinning jump kick in the face that spun Tick around and
back with a back fist that knocked Red Eye into a control consol. Red Eye
took out one of his discs and desperately smacked it right in Tick’s face, not
throwing it as was his trademark. Tick gave Red Eye a right hook that sent him
Tick shadowboxed with Red Eye for a moment, as he had done with Grune.
Red Eye gave Tick a left and a right hook, and Tick threw both fists forward,
giving Red Eye a double whammy. Red Eye and Tick went at each other’s
throats and held each other still for what seemed like an eternity. After that
eternity, Tick broke the grip and hit Red Eye straight up. While Red Eye was
paralyzed by the move, Tick picked him up and threw him through a wall.
When Red Eye tried to get back up, Tick grabbed him again and threw him
through another wall.
When Tick was sure that Red Eye was down for the count, he reentered the
control room to see to the remaining Lunatacs.
“Get him Amok!” screeched Luna. “Charge! WHOA!” Luna clung to her
saddle for dear life as Amok charged forward.
As soon as Amok was within an inch of him, Tick faked a left and gave him a
right, followed up by a real left. Tick then gave Amok a quick kick to the chin
followed by picking up a piece of junk and bashing him with it. Luna fell off in
all the storm of garbage.
When the storm of garbage subsided, Amok hit Tick in the stomach and hit him
across the face. While Tick steadied himself against the wall, he remembered
his suit had built in pockets, reached in, and pulled out a Nestlé’s CRUNCH
bar. Tick unwrapped the centuries old candy bar, turned around and jammed in
Amok’s mouth. While Amok realized it was candy and started eating it, Tick
stalked around and picked Luna up off the ground.
“Put me down you blue hulk!” Luna screeched.
Tick felt like he had forgotten something. Then he remembered. Chilla. That’s
when he noticed that Chilla was still standing and blowing her ice breath at him.
Tick held Luna out in front of him and Luna got frozen instead.
“Chilla you stupid-” was the last thing Luna said before she became an icicle.
“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Chilla grinned. “Now its your turn!” That’s
when Chilla got whacked on the back with a bag filled with a substance most
deadly to her. “ARGH! Rock salt!
“My pleasure, Tick.” No one calls Cheetara a ho!
Over the course of the next several days, Tick helped the Thundercats rebuild
their home and helped keep a guard on the mutants, Lunatacs, and Grune. The
Thundercats called in Captain Bragg to come by and take the evildoers to the
island of Way Out Back.
Cheetara had a lot of explaining to do about the fudge, but Lion-O managed
not to get caught up in the controversy.
About a week later, Bragg finally arrived, escorted by Officer Mandora, Evil
Chaser. The Circus Train parked itself down in front of Cats Lair with Mandora
landing her bike right beside it.
“Officer, do you really have to follow me every time I’m called upon to lend
my services to my friends?”
“Seeing as how you occasionally try to go a little further than extending your
“I only did that once!”
“Mandora, Captain Bragg,” greeted Lion-O. “What took you so long?”
“You know how it is, Lion-O. There’s all this legal hubbub these people insist
on putting me through.”
“The law’s the law, Bragg. Who’s the blue guy?”
“I am the Tick! Champion of Justice! Defender of-”
“Okay. Just Tick.”
“You don’t look like a Tick,” said Mandora, who Tick thought had the
unsteady voice he had ever heard.
“I really wish people would stop saying that.”
“Well, where are the prisoners?” asked Bragg with his usual kindly old man
Tick helped the Thundercats load the mutants, Lunatacs, and Grune into their
“I hope these cells are enough to keep them from fighting with each other all
the way,” said Tygra.
During this time, Tick also made a decision.
“Are you sure you have to go Tick?” Cheetara and the others all asked at least
“Yes, I must go,” insisted Tick. “It’s obvious to me that, this planet really
doesn’t need my services anymore. It’s in good hands. It’s time to move on.
I’ve always wanted to see the universe. I’ll explore. Maybe find a planet that
does need my services.”
“That’s your choice Tick,” said Panthro. “We won’t stop you.”
“We are forever in your debt, Tick,” said an uncharacteristically humble
Lion-O. “If it hadn’t been for you, we’d still be frozen in those ice blocks.”
“Or worse,” commented Tygra.
“If you ever need a place to crash, you’re always welcomed here.”
“Thanks, Lion-O.” Tick and Lion-O shook hands, one hero to another. Tick
shook hands next with Tygra, and gradually everyone else. He lifted Wilykit and
Wilykat up off the ground while they hung onto his biceps, and left on the
Circus Train with Captain Bragg. Everyone waved to the departing circus
captain and Tick, who seemed bright and positive as ever, wondering if they
would ever see the 7’0” tall, 400 lbs super hero again.
A few days later, that question was answered. While everyone was eating
dinner, they got a call on the computer. They all went up into the control room
and Tygra turned on the monitor.
“Mandora,” Tygra greeted over the monitor. Then he noticed that Mandora
was crying tears were streaking down her cheeks, her eyes hidden by her
helmet. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”
“I’ve got a message,” Mandora almost choked out. She took out a letter.
“Captain Bragg’s… Circus Train… never made it to the Island of Way out
Back. It came across a black whole. It was sucked in… there were no
survivors.” Mandora cut the line.
Captain Bragg was gone. He was just an old man who was trying to help them
out. What was more, the Tick, Champion of Justice, Protector of the innocent,
Defender of underdogs, and all around nice guy, was gone. After finally waking
up after countless eons, ready to take on life and see the universe, was gone,
There wasn’t an eye in the room that didn’t fill up with tears.
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