Hercules/ThunderCats/Evil Dead Crossover
By Bill Taylor
HERCULES AND THE THUNDERCATS VS. THE EVIL DEAD’S ARMY OF DARKNESS
By Bill Taylor
Legend has it that it was written by the dark one, Mumm-ra, the ever
living, Necronomicon X Mortis. Roughly translated: Book of the Dead.
Bound in human flesh, inked in blood, and incredibly hard to pronounce,
the book served as a passageway to the evil world beyond, and gave the
ancient spirits of evil, and a few other miscellaneous spirits, license
to possess the living. It was written long ago, when the sees ran red
with blood. It was never meant for the world of the living. Many heroes
fought valiantly against the strange and horrible creatures known as the
Deadites, and in the end, they were all destroyed. All but one. Only
Hercules, the most powerful man the world had ever seen, the son of
Zeus, king of the gods, the greatest hero the world would ever know,
could defeat the Deadites and Mumm-ra. It was he who took the book from
the ever-living source of evil and imprisoned him (for a time), and it
was he who rid ancient Rome of this evil. In 1300 A.D., the book
Third Earth. The Future. The Tower of Omens. Night.
“Bengali, wherever did you find that gruesome thing?” Pumyra asked,
entering the command room for the Tower. Bengali was leafing through an
ugly book out of boredom and was mesmerized by some of the pictures. But
what boredom could be so great it would possess him to read such an ugly
thing, wondered Pumyra. “Bengali?” Pumyra nudged him in his chair.
“Hello. Third Earth to Bengali.”
Bengali spun around in the chair to look at his beautiful puma lady
friend. “Say something?”
“I asked you where you got that book. It’s hideous.”
“Oh, this old thing?” Bengali asked. “I found it while I was out with
Lion-o and Tygra. We found this old castle in a wasteland desert, and
when we went inside, we found it in one of the chambers. It was covered
with dust and cobwebs, it was disgusting.”
Pumyra shook her finger at him like she was his mother or some other
parental figure of authority. “You ought to know better than to go
taking things out of old castles. And of all the things to take, why
would you take something so ugly?” She found the book to be unbearably
repulsive in appearance. Its cover resembled a face, but it looked old
and decayed. Like Mumm-ra the ever living.
“It looked interesting,” he replied smugly. “It has all sorts of weird
pictures and writing in here. I can’t read any of it.”
“Just like you to take a book you can’t even read.” Pumyra smirked.
“Well, I’ll bet Tygra can make something out of it.” Bengali rubbed his
tired eyes. “I’ll take it to him to tomorrow and ask him if he can make
something out of it.”
“I don’t like the book. There’s something dark and evil about it.”
“Well its not gonna bite you.”
“Get rid of it.” Pumyra demanded. “Get rid of it now.” Bengali stood up
from his chair and cracked his spine. He thought she was just being
“Bengali, there is something about that book- oh never mind.” Pumyra
shrugged, figuring Bengali would not listen to her. “You keep reading
your ugly book. I’m gonna go out for a walk.”
“Fine by me. Be seeing you.” Bengali reseated himself and started
reading the book again.
Far away, in the Pyramid of Mumm-ra, the ever-living embodiment of
evil, watched Bengali reading the book he found in the castle in his
cauldron. “Ah, so good to see my book again. Those stupid mortals never
learned. Now, with the Necronomicon back in the main stream, I can bring
about the end of the Thundercats! HAHAHAHA!” Mumm-ra rubbed his decayed
temple for a moment, trying to remember the phonetic pronunciations of
the incantations. “How did it go, again? Oh yes. PHERMONTOS, ESTRATOS,
CONTA. NOS ESTRATOS CONTA. CONTA! ”
Pumyra was out for her walk and thought things looked a little bit
darker than usual. Night was supposed to be dark, but this was the
darkest night Pumyra had ever seen. She turned to look over her
shoulder, thinking she heard something. She looked up and saw that
clouds had appeared. It now looked as though it would storm. Then smoke
appeared in the woods, and it made her cough. Sounds were coming from
every which way there was. Now she was starting to become scared. Then
she heard a demonic voice:
She turned and started to head back to the Tower, when something grabbed
her ankle. Pumyra screamed and looked down to see a weed vine of some
kind. It was holding her back and trying to pull her down. Then another
vine wrapped itself around her wrist, and another around her waist. Soon
weed vines were coming out of the wood- work, wrapping around her other
leg, her throat and wrapping again and again around her arms. She
struggled to break free and she struggled to scream for help, but Pumyra
could do neither, the vines on her throat and arms and legs were too
Then Pumyra saw something coming at her from the woods. It was too far
at first for her to decipher, but as it got closer, it took shape. It
was a horror she had never witnessed. It was the embodiment of
everything she had ever feared and would ever fear. Then it ran through
her, and she lost all conscious thought. But she did manage a scream.
Bengali turned in his chair. He thought he heard someone scream. A
female scream. Then he started hearing thunder. That’s strange, he
thought. When I last looked outside there were no signs of a storm. Then
the door opened and Lynx-o entered, looking worried as Hell. “What is
“Did you hear it, Bengali?” Lynx-o asked. “Did you hear the scream?”
Bengali nodded. “I heard it. It sounded close and faint at the same
“Something evil is taking place outside.” Lynx-o said.
Bengali’s eyes widened. “Pumyra! Lynx-o, stay here, I’ll go see what
happened!” Before Lynx-o could stop the younger Thundercat, he was
already out the door and running down the hall to get downstairs and
Bengali ran through the forest shouting “Pumyra!” He was sure he was on
her trail. If anything’s happened to her, if anyone’s done anything to
her, I’m gonna- then he stopped dead in his tracks. Bengali had come to
a pile of vines and weeds all crumpled in one place. This was were
Pumyra’s trail seem to end. He looked around and saw nothing. “Pumyra!”
Then Bengali’s stomach began to turn and his heartbeat increased. Then
he heard a demonic voice. A voice that nearly scared the life out of
“RARGH!” Pumyra appeared from the trees, her eyes blank, opaque white,
her teeth razor sharp, and her disposition fierce. Bengali jumped back
in fear before recognizing that it was she. She advanced on him,
cackling “Join us!”. The demon Pumyra took Bengali by his throat,
hoisted him up, and threw him away a few meters.
“Pumyra?! Pumyra, its me! It’s Ben- OW!”
When he tried to get up, Pumyra grabbed his left leg and began
scratching his calf, tearing away the flesh and spewing out his blood.
Bengali screamed in pain and got thrown away again, landing on his back
again. Pumyra jumped down to get on top of him, but he quickly threw up
both his legs and caught her in the stomach and pushed her back. Bengali
scrambled for something to hit her with and found himself a large, long
fallen tree branch. After he got back on his feet, he started hitting
the demon Pumyra upside the head with the branch. He hit her again and
again, and yet it did nothing but make her cackle. After wasting his
strength hitting her again and again, he thrust the branch in her face,
finally knocking her down. He began to hit her on the ground with the
branch again and again, in the face, stomach, anywhere that it looked
like it would hurt. But then she grabbed the branch, struggled with him,
and tossed him away again.
What’s happened to her? Bengali thought as he struggled to get back up.
Once again, he saw her coming at him, only he could not get off his
back. Then he remembered his hammer. He scrambled to pull it off his
belt and held it up as Pumyra leapt through the air. Just as she was
about to land on top of him, Bengali shot a bolt of energy out of his
hammer, electrocuting demon Pumyra. He rolled out of the way just in
time before the fried carcass landed on him. Shaking, Bengali reached
over and touched the smoking Pumyra. He rolled her over and checked her
pulse in her throat. Something was there, but it was faint. “Oh no,” he
sighed to himself. “Oh no. No. Pumyra, no.” He picked her up in his
arms, cradling her, and carried her back towards the Tower. “Don’t do
this to me,” he asked her quietly. “Don’t do this to me, please.”
The next morning, early morning, at the Cat’s Lair, Lion-o was up and
watching the sunrise from the Cat’s Lair window. He had not gone to bed
till late last night, and yet, some how, he was able to get up early
enough to see the sunrise. Needing something to do, he decided to go for
a short walk. But he had to tell someone he was leaving first.
“Snarf!” he yelled throughout the halls of the Cat’s Lair. “Snarf!”
“What is it Lion-o?” Snarf asked. He had been sleeping in the meeting
room the whole time, not too far from Lion-o.
“I’m going out for a walk. Tell the other cats if they’re up before I’m
back, but I shouldn’t be long.”
It was a beautiful morning Third Earth was having, and it seemed all the
more beautiful as he walked along, enjoying the scenery. He kept
walking, the cool, crisp air blowing against him, blowing through his
long, red mane. It was quiet, but also misty. Then the serenity was
disturbed as Lion-o heard a voice:
Then Lion-o turned to look over his shoulder and saw it coming at him.
A huge, demonic creature that represented everything that Lion-o feared.
The lord of the Thunder-cats yelled as he was swept up and carried away
by the demonic force. He was carried through the trees and spun over his
head again and again. After being carried a mile perhaps, Lion-o slammed
into a tree back first, and fell down into a giant puddle of water. A
few seconds passed and bubbles began to come out of the water, then
Lion-o rose from the puddle and crawled out, and yelled a demonic yell.
He then roared at the site of the morning sun, now a zombie, a creature
possessed by the Deadites. As the clouds cleared away, the sun showed
brightly as ever, and zombie Lion-o tried to block the sun from his
eyes. The demons and zombies began to disappear from the forest, for
now, and slowly, the evil spirit that taken control of Lion-o left him.
Lion-o roared in pain as he returned to his original state, and fell to
the ground, unconscious.
Zeus, king of the gods, most omnipotent in the universe, observed the
conflict below on the plane of mortals. The Deadites had returned,
thanks to Mumm-ra and his book of the dead. Though it was not really any
concern of his what happened to the beings that were on Earth and yet
not of it, it did matter to him what would happen to Olympus and all its
souls. If Mumm-ra succeeded on Earth, he would attack Olympus with his
army of the dead (or undead), and then there would be Hades to pay.
There was only one man for the job.
“Mercury!” yelled Zeus. “Mercury, get your ass over here right now!”
Mercury appeared fast as a lightning bolt and knelt before his King.
“What is thy bidding, sire?”
“Mercury, the Deadites have returned to the plane of mortals. Mumm-ra
is up to his old tricks again. Go fetch Hercules from the Fields of
Heroes. Those mortals are going to need his help.”
“Yes, sire.” Mercury arose, and disappeared again, as quickly as he had
Back at Cat’s Lair, the Thunderkittens, Wilykit and Wilykat, were
looking for Lion-o and could not find him. They wanted to ask him if
they could go out and explore the Northern Sector of Third Earth. If
they could not find him, they’d probably go anyway, but it would be
better if they told one of the others they were gone. They entered the
communications room where Panthro and Tygra were at the controls keeping
an eye on things.
“Hey, have you guys seen Lion-o?” Wilykit asked.
“Not a sign of him all morning.” Panthro replied. “Why?”
“Well, we were gonna go and hang out in the Northern Sector of Third
Earth, and we just wanted to let him know.” Wilykat said.
“Forget about it,” Tygra said turning his chair. “There’s been mutant
activity there for a while now. It would be too dangerous.”
“Aw, come on, Tygra,” whined the kittens.
“If Lion-o was here, he’d say the same thing.”
“What makes you so sure?” asked Wilykat.
Tygra stopped to ponder that thought, seeing as how Lion-o did not
always demonstrate the best common sense and good judgment himself, then
turned to Panthro. “Hey Panthro, back me up on this.”
“Lion-o would say no.” Panthro said automatically.
“See?” Then Tygra got a call on his computer from the Tower of Omens.
“Tygra here at Cat’s Lair.” It was Bengali on the other side.
“Thank Jaga its you!” he exclaimed. “I’d have called last night, but I
couldn’t get the computers to work!”
“What happened?” Tygra asked.
“Some bad ass shit, that’s happened!” Bengali looked like a wreck, as
though someone had thrashed him thoroughly. He started babbling
inconsistently and irrationally. It was so bad Tygra doubted even
Cheetara’s sixth sense would make sense out of what it was he was trying
to tell them.
“Get a hold of yourself, Bengali.” Tygra said in a calm collected
voice. “Just calm down. Think before you say each word.”
Bengali started huffing and puffing and began to breath heavily.
Finally, he started to collect his nerves. “Last night… something
happened to Pumyra… something… took control of her… she tried to kill
me. She’s fine now… back to normal…” He still looked like a wreck, even
after getting his thoughts together. “It’s got something to do with that
book I found at the castle… get over here and see if you can make sense
of the book’s writings.”
“Alright, I’ll come as soon as I can.” Tygra replied.
“Now! Come here now!” Bengali pleaded.
“Easy, easy, right now. I’m coming right now.” The link was terminated
and Tygra looked stumped.
“He looked like he was on the edge of insanity, didn’t he?” Panthro
“Yeah. But I think Bengali was telling the truth. He’s not the type to
lie and make up stories. I’ll take the Thunder tank. You want to come?”
“I don’t think so. But why don’t you take the Thunderkittens with you?
Give them something to do?” suggested Panthro. Tygra looked at the
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Will you kittens promise me you won’t get
“Us? In trouble? How can you ask such a thing?” The kittens put on
their beggar looks. Tygra rolled his eyes despairingly.
“Oh what the hell? Come on.”
In Mumm-ra’s pyramid, Mumm-ra rested in his sarcophagus, dreaming a
pleasant nightmare. The Deadites were as strong as ever, and that meant
he was destined to succeed this time. Even the Thundercats could not
repel the power of the deadites. Deadites were the spirits of people who
were evil in life or had died very horrible deaths, and when they
possessed the living, it was either for revenge or for the joy of
continuing to spread pain, agony, and sorrow. No one could defeat them
Only one man had ever been able to defeat the Deadites. That man was
Hercules, son of Zeus, king of the gods. In his day, Hercules was the
strongest man in the world, and the greatest hero the world would ever
know. He was the one who defeated the deadites and imprisoned Mumm-ra
originally. But that was centuries ago, and Hercules had gone to Mt.
Olympus. With him out of the picture, Mumm-ra was bound to triumph.
“Bengali?” Pumyra opened her eyes slowly and started moving them to
observe her room. Everything was blurry. “Bengali?”
“It’s okay, I’m here,” Bengali, to Pumyra’s relief, was at her side. She
realized she was in bed and that she was back in the Tower of Omens.
“I had the strangest nightmare.” She shifted her head. “I dreamt I was a
zombie, and I was beating the shit out of you.” Pumyra squinted her eyes
real hard to make out what looked like a gash on Bengali’s lip. “Did
someone beat you up or something? Your lip-”
“No,” Bengali said shaking his head. “I’m fine. Really, I am. You just
go to sleep for a little while.”
“I feel like I’ve been asleep years.” Pumyra’s eyes slowly closed and
in a second she was out again. Bengali leaned forward, kissed her on the
cheek, and left her room.
Bengali walked the halls of the Tower of Omens, anxiously awaiting
Tygra’s arrival. If anyone would be able to decipher the book’s words,
it would be him. He was in to occult stuff and what not. He did not know
why or how, but Bengali knew that book had something to do with all
this. Pumyra had said there was something creepy about the book, though
she left before telling him what she thought it was.
Or perhaps it was one of Mumm-ra’s evil spells, he did not know. All he
knew was that last night, something took control of Pumyra, and she
nearly killed him. He hit her with his hammer at maximum power, and yet
it only stunned her, it did not kill her. Though it pleased the white
tiger that the closest thing he had or would ever have to a girlfriend
was still alive, it puzzled him.
After morning came, Pumyra had returned to her original state, and did
not even look burned. Something evil was going on, and things were only
going to get worse from here. Bengali only hoped and prayed that
whatever attacked last night did not come back for round two.
Then someone or something jumped on his back and covered his eyes.
“Guess who, stud.”
“That’s not funny, Wilykit.” Bengali replied taking Wilykit’s hands off
his eyes and lowering her off his back.
“Where’s the book, Bengali?” Tygra asked coming up from behind with
“Its in the control room. Let’s go.”
Tygra spent hours reading and rereading the book to make sure he
deciphered every word correctly. The kittens played with each other and
Bengali fell asleep sitting at one of the monitors. Night was beginning
to fall. “Interesting,” he said after hours of silence.
“What?” Bengali asked, slowly lifting his head and yawning. “Have you
figured out what the book is yet?”
“I think it’s a book of evil.”
“Elaborate on that.”
“Yeah, tell us what it is?” Wilykit insisted.
Tygra flipped the pages for the others to see. “Well, it seems this
book is a dictionary to controlling evil. It contains bizarre burial
rights and demon resurrection passages. It speaks of the Deadites, evil
creatures from beyond the unknown who are given license to possess the
living when certain incantations are read. They reeked havoc on the
original rulers of this world before they were destroyed.”
“Sounds like something Mumm-ra would read.” Wilykat said.
“Do you think these, Deadites took control of Pumyra?” Bengali asked.
“Its possible.” Tygra said. “Did you read the words?”
“Read the words? I can’t even make out these words.” Bengali flinched
and looked up at the ceiling and all around the room.
“What’s wrong?” Wilykit asked.
“I feel like,” Bengali paused. “I feel like someone… just walked over
my grave. What’s that picture?” Bengali asked pointing down to the book.
The picture appeared to be a huge man with a beard wearing a green toga
standing triumphant over a demon while at the same time, knocking down
“In 600 B.C., they (the Romans) called this man Hercules, a great hero
believed to be endowed with unlimited strength because of his being the
son of Zeus, king of the gods,” Tygra explained. “As according to
prophecy, he was the one who originally destroyed the evil.”
Bengali raised an eyebrow. “He didn’t do a very good job.”
Cheetara walked into the control room at the Tower of Omens after
coming back from her patrol. “Why’s the place so deserted, Panthro?” she
“Tygra took the Thunderkittens with him to go to the Tower of Omens.
Some emergency, according to Bengali.” Panthro swung his chair around.
“Have you seen Lion-o at all?”
“No.” Then Tygra entered the room with the Thunderkittens and Snarf.
“Did I hear someone ask about Lion-o?” asked Tygra.
“He’s still not back yet?” Wilykit asked. “Boy, that’s weird.”
“Its not like Lion-o to just up and disappear,” Wilykat said.
“Great,” sighed a sarcastic Panthro. “No one’s seen him at all today.”
“Snarf, Snarf, I saw him. I saw him this morning. He told me he was
going out for a walk, but he said he wouldn’t take real long,” said
Snarf. “If I know Lion-o, he’s probably gotten himself into trouble.”
“Now if Lion-o was in trouble, he’d a have used the sword to call us,”
Cheetara pointed out. “Unless… unless he hasn’t got the sword.”
“Snarf snarf, he doesn’t.” Snarf scratched his nose. “He didn’t have it
with him when he left, and I didn’t see him go into the sword room.”
“Hold it, let’s not jump to conclusions here,” Tygra said. “Maybe
Lion-o just wants to be by himself to sort out some inner conflicts or
“From dawn till dusk?” asked Panthro.
“I’ll do a quick check of the next few miles,” Cheetara said heading
out the room. “Wish me luck.”
“We wish you luck!” everyone yelled.
An hour later, Cheetara was checking all the land she knew that Lion-o
might have gone. She checked the paths, the river, the mountains,
everything for 10 miles, and there was no sign of him. Perhaps he had
gotten himself in trouble and lost the sword. Knowing Lion-o, he would
usually find some way to get the sword back from his captors and use it
to call the others, but if he had lost it or if it had been destroyed,
then Lion-o was screwed. Cheetara was now back in the forest to see if
she had missed something.
“I can’t find him anywhere,” Cheetara sighed to herself, frustrated. “I
can’t just search endlessly. I may as well just go back.”
“Go back now, Cheetara!” screamed what sounded like the voice of
Lion-o. “Go back now!”
Cheetara flinched. “Lion-o? Where are you?!”
“Its too late for me, Cheetara! They’ve got me! But it’s not too late
for you! It’s not too late for the others! Save yourself! Go back to the
Lair before they take you!”
“Who are they? Lion-o!” Cheetara called out her friend’s name some more,
but he did not respond. “No choice, I must use my sixth sense.” Cheetara
concentrated long and hard, bringing on to herself an incredibly painful
headache. The image was jumbled, confused, and indescribable. She saw
Lion-o in a dark nowhere, a void that brought upon great pain and
torment, and tried to destroy his soul.
Then she saw it. The evil thing that must have taken Lion-o was now
coming at her. Terrified beyond belief, Cheetara turned and ran away as
fast as she could.
“Hey, look.” Panthro called Tygra’s attention to the screen. “Cheetara’s
“Why’s she running at top speed?” Tygra asked. “Something’s wrong, but I
can’t see anything behind her.”
“Let me go in for a closer look- Hey what the hell?” Panthro’s screen
lost the image of Cheetara. “It went dead!”
Unaware of the problems bedeviling the other Thundercats, Cheetara just
kept running as fast as she could for the bridge, only problem being
that her top super speed had worn out a mile back. Her heart was
pounding so fast it felt like it might explode. She kept looking over
her shoulder to see if she had lost the entity, but to her
disappointment, it was still following her.
Cheetara made it across the bridge and through the door, but the entity
pursued her. She ran into every room she saw and tried slamming doors
wherever possible, but still the entity kept up with her, only losing
its pace with her occasionally but catching up again a few minutes
After being chased throughout the entire lower level, Cheetara made it
to the garage and saw it was deserted. With only a few precious seconds
to go before that thing caught up with her again, Cheetara ran over and
jumped into the Thunder tank and pulled its shield cover over to hide
her. She waited and listened for the entity, and there was nothing. Then
the distinct sound of the demon was easily recognized. The demon
searched the garage and saw nothing. It proceeded to fly out the hangar
and did not look back. Cheetara pulled the cover back only a few inches
for her eyes, and when she saw that nothing was in the garage with her,
she breathed a sigh of incredible relief.
Bengali was in the control room again with the book that night. He kept
the book away from him though. Across the room, on another computer was
where the book sat. Bengali was trying to force the book out of his
mind. He asked Tygra to take it with him back to the Cat’s Lair, but he
turned him down. All was quiet around the Tower of Omens. A little too
quiet for the preference of the white tiger. He would have preferred
loud noises and what not, if only because it would get his mind off what
had happened last night.
Then he heard a cackling. A very familiar, demonic cackling behind him.
He turned and there was Pumyra, sitting on the floor with a wicked grin
on her face and those same opaque eyes. She was a demon once again.
“Pumyra? Oh shit, not again!” Bengali jumped from his chair.
“Join us!” she cackled. “Make it easy on yourself!”
“Pumyra, snap out of it!” Bengali pleaded. “You’re not one of them!”
“Pumyra is gone, foolish mortal! There are only us! The Deadites!”
“No! You’re not one of them! Fight them!”
“Its useless! Give yourself up, and we will be merciful! Resist, and we
shall feast upon your soul! HAHAHA!”
“Let her go!” Bengali pulled out his hammer. “I’m warning you if you’ve
forgotten, this thing hurts!” The Deadite Pumyra started cackling again,
and slowly, turned her head down. Slowly, the laughter, the cackling,
died down. “Pumyra?”
Bengali slowly walked over, hoping maybe she was back to normal and
that it was safe. Slowly, cautiously, he walked closer, hoping that he
was not making a mistake. When he got to her, he touched his hand to her
cheek and asked her name again. “Pumyra?”
“HAHAHAHAHA!” The head quickly came up and screeched and cackled in the
white tiger’s face. She tried to grab his hand and chew it off, but he
pulled it away too fast for her. “Fool! We’ll get you, stupid fool!” In
a rush of adrenalin brought upon by the fight or flight syndrome,
Bengali turned and ran for the door to escape the control room.
Bengali ran through the entire Tower seeking sanctuary, and all he
could find was Pumyra’s office. Bengali turned on the sink and started
splashing water on his face. He looked into the mirror and started
breathing heavy to keep up with his racing heart. “Fine,” he sighed.
Then his reflection took form and jumped out at him, resting its hands
on his shoulders. “I don’t think,” said the reflection brought to life.
“You zapped your girlfriend last night with the blacksmith’s hammer.
Does that sound… fine?” The reflection then grabbed Bengali by his
throat and tried to strangle him, laughing low but evilly.
Bengali struggled to free his throat of his evil reflection’s grip, and
after a few minutes, the choking tiger found that he was strangling
himself with his own hands. He released himself from his own grip, and
then looked at the mirror again. He tapped the mirror a few times to see
if it was solid and to see if anyone else was on the other side, but
there was no one. Bengali began to breath easier, and then tapped the
mirror one last time. This time, his hand went all the way through and
when he pulled it back out, it was covered with water. He began
screaming and yelling for all he was worth. Then came that same cackling
again. He turned around and there was Pumyra.
“Shut up! Shut up!” he yelled.
“We’re gonna get you. We’re gonna get you. Not another peep. Time to go
to sleep,” sang the sinister Deadite before breaking into mad cackling
again. Without warning, Pumyra somersaulted through the air, landing
behind Bengali. When he turned around, she grabbed his shoulder, holding
him there, and began punching him in the face. Bengali felt like he was
going blind with each blow. Pumyra’s last blow sent him flying, right
out of the office and he landed on his back in the hallway. He tried to
crawl away crab like as Pumyra flipped forward. When she finally landed
in front of him again, she kicked him below the belt. Bengali screamed
in pain while Pumyra cackled away.
“Why you-” Bengali manage to groan in a high-pitched voice. Quickly, he
threw his legs up and caught Pumyra’s head between his feet, and threw
her aside. Bengali scrambled to his feet just in time to see Pumyra
coming at him again. He reluctantly hit her in the gut and in the face,
not that it hurt her. She grabbed him by the throat and tried to choke
him, and soon, Bengali heard another cackling laugh in the hall. He saw
no one, but heard another person’s voice. Then he saw who was laughing.
It was Lynx-o. The Deadites, as they called themselves, had taken him
too. Demon Lynx-o was now rushing at Bengali, laughing maniacally, and
at the last second, Bengali turned around and threw Pumyra off himself
and into Lynx-o. Lynx-o threw Pumyra off himself and tried to tackle
Bengali, and Bengali quickly knocked him down with an uppercut punch.
Then Pumyra jumped on his back and started clawing at the back of his
“ARGH! You crazy bitch! Get off me!” Eventually, after spinning around
and around for a few minutes, Pumyra wrestled Bengali to the ground.
Lynx-o, eyes guided by the Deadites, walked over and grabbed Bengali’s
left arm while Pumyra grabbed his right. They hoisted him up and cackled
“Here he is, oh dark spirits! Make him one of us!” Through the halls of
the Tower of Omens, a strange and evil force was flying. When it entered
the hallway of the Tower, Bengali lost all conscious thought.
Cheetara was shaking all over with a cup of water in her hand. Tygra
and Panthro had found her in the garage, looking as though she had seen
a ghost and babbling on end. “I saw it,” she said between gulps of her
drink. “I saw it.”
“You saw what, Cheetara?” asked Tygra.
“I saw it!” Cheetara was a wreck. “I heard him. He said it was too late
“Who?” asked Panthro. “Who did you hear?”
“Lion-o,” Cheetara replied. “I heard him. He said it was too late to
“Who got him?”
“They got him.”
“Who’s they?” Panthro asked. Cheetara did not answer. She did not look
like she could answer. She just kept shaking and drinking from her glass
to unsuccessfully calm her nerves.
“Its no use, Panthro.” Tygra sighed. “Not right now, anyway. Let’s just
leave her alone so she can get some rest.” Panthro and Tygra left her
“So what do we do about Lion-o?” Panthro asked. “Who do you think got
“I’m not sure.” Tygra replied.
“My money’s on Mumm-ra.”
“No, I don’t think Mumm-ra’s got him.” Tygra scratched his chin. “We’re
dealing with something totally different here.”
“Well I’m going back down to the garage.” Panthro took a turn to the
left and went down the hall to the elevator. Tygra went right for the
library. He needed to delve into some more occult things. Now he was
starting to think he should have taken the book from Bengali when he
asked him to. Now he was starting to think that maybe the book had
something to do with Lion-o’s disappearance.
Tygra walked into the library and found it to be pitch black, not that
the dark bothered him. He felt along the wall for the switch and flipped
it. There was something different about the library. Tygra did not know
what, but something seemed different. He looked to the wall and saw a
hole that he knew was not there earlier. He walked over closer to it to
see what might have made it, and heard a sound. A sound that resembled
rushing water. As he got closer to the hole, Tygra noticed that the
sound was coming from the hole.
When he was only about two meters away from the hole, it hit him. A
powerful stream of blood gushed out of the hole, soaking Tygra in blood.
Tygra fought to get out of the stream of blood and eventually he slipped
on a puddle of blood on the floor. As Tygra struggled back to his feet,
he accidentally got back into the stream of blood. Then the blood began
to recede back into the hole. In a matter of seconds, all the blood was
gone, all except the blood that Tygra was covered in. Soaked in blood,
looking black and red, Tygra pulled out his whip.
“Whoever you are, you wanna taste of my whip?” Tygra began stalking
around the library room looking up at the ceiling, screaming insanely.
“How about, huh? Whip your butts to kingdom come! See if I don’t!” Tygra
began to calm down a little bit, like he was waking up from a bad dream.
He tried to sit down on a chair, and it collapsed under his weight.
Tygra fell on his butt.
“Huh?” Tygra looked up at the stag head on the wall. The Warrior
Maidens, Willa and Nada, had given them the stag head as a sign of
friendship, not that they really needed the head of a dead animal
hanging on their wall. A cracking noise was coming from its neck. Then
the stag head turned to look at him; its glassy eyes gone white opaque
and mouth wide open instead of closed. The stag held Tygra’s eyes for a
second. The stag head began to laugh.
Tygra stared at the perverse sight of the deer head laughing at him,
and noticed that the lamp was laughing at him as well. His eyes blinked
a mile a second, as Tygra saw that the books were laughing at him too.
The whole library was laughing at him. So Tygra decided –what the hell-
and started laughing with them.
“GHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The whole room was alive
with dark, malevolent laughter. Tygra began playing games with the lamp,
ducking with it, lowering his legs as it lowered itself on its wire
“AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
After a while, Tygra stopped laughing and began yelling. Yelling in
pain and madness. Madness brought about the Deadites. Then the doors
came open and there stood Wilykit and Wilykat. “Tygra, are you all
right?” asked Kit.
“Do I look alright?” Tygra asked, twitching his eye.
“Well, no but-”
“Then I don’t!” he yelled uncharacteristically. “You heard them, didn’t
“Heard who?” Kat asked.
“Them! The library! The books! The stag head! You heard them, didn’t
you? Of course you did, or else you would not have come.” There was a
look of madness in his eyes.
“We heard you, Tygra,” said Kit. “We didn’t hear anyone else.”
“How could you not hear them?” Tygra asked. “They were laughing loud
enough to wake the dead! The undead! The un-living!”
“Uh, maybe you should sit down.”
“NO! I can’t sit down! That’s what got them laughing at me in the first
“Really, you should sit down.”
“I won’t sit down! The laughing will begin anew! If you don’t believe
me, sit down yourself! There’s a chair right over there!”
Wilykit walked over to the chair and sat down. Tygra had a dumbfounded
look on his face when he saw that the chair did not collapse under her
weight and the room did not begin laughing.
“Oh, I see! You’re too good to laugh at the kittens, you can only laugh
at me!” yelled Tygra. “Well, that’s just fine with me! HAHAHAHAHA!”
“Uh, Tygra?” Wilykat nudged the older, taller cat. “Maybe you should go
“But if I go to bed, they’ll start laughing at me again!”
“You don’t have to go to bed here, just go to bed in your room.”
“But-” Wilykit and Wilykat started leading him out of the library.
“Come on, Tygra,” chided Wilykit. “The books aren’t going to laugh at
“So he was babbling about the library laughing at him?” Panthro asked
with a raised eyebrow.
“Great. Lion-o’s gone, Tygra and Cheetara are going nuts, and I can’t
get the Tower of Omens on the horn.” Panthro rubbed his eyes
exhaustedly. “What else can go wrong today?” Then there was a crack of
“How about a storm?” asked Wilykat.
Panthro turned back to the computers and got an incoming vehicle
“What is it, Panthro?” asked Wilykit.
“It’s the Thunder Claw. But why would a storm make Bengali, Lynx-o and
Pumyra come all the way to the Cat’s Lair?”
“Maybe they sprung a leak,” quipped Wilykat. Wilykat felt something
wrapping itself around his leg, he looked down and saw that it was
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” whimpered Snarf.
“Yeah, I know the feeling,” agreed Panthro, pressing the controls to
open the hangar. “You three stay here, I’ll go see what the problem is.”
Panthro had his nun-chucks with him when he got into the garage hangar.
The other Thundercats had not gotten out of the Claw. That made him
curious as to what was going on. Was there Tower attacked, or what? It
was kind of dark in the hangar, not that Panthro needed to turn the
lights on to see, since he knew his way around pretty well. But why
should the lights not be on? Panthro heard the door open with something
of a crash behind him. He turned, expecting to see the Thunderkittens
and Snarf, but to his surprise, it was Cheetara and Tygra.
“Shouldn’t you two be sleeping?” he asked.
“They’re here!” Cheetara yelled in his face. “They’re here!”
“I know, I know. The other Thundercats are here. I guess they sprung a
leak at the tower during the storm.”
“No, not them! Not the other Thundercats! Not the Thundercats that we
“What do you mean ‘not the Thundercats that we know’?”
“They’ve been taken- Lion-o, Lynx-o, Pumyra, Bengali, have been taken!”
“By the thing that chased me!” Cheetara answered. “A dark spirit of
“Yes, it also took possession of the library a few hours ago!” added
“I still don’t know what you’re talking about.” Panthro said flatly.
“I believe the word looking you’re for is… Deadites!” Panthro, Tygra,
and Cheetara turned to see Lion-o. Or at least he who had been Lion-o,
for the Lion-o who had been the lord of the Thundercats was gone. His
eyes glowed yellow, and his maniacal smile revealed razor sharp teeth.
At his side, the Deadite possessed Pumyra, Bengali, and Lynx-o stood.
“We are the things that were and shall be again! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We want
what is yours! Life! HAHA! Dead by dawn!”
“Dead by dawn! Dead by dawn!” They all yelled repeatedly. “Dead by
dawn! Dead by dawn!” The cackling went on and on, until Tygra pulled out
his whip and cracked it across the room, hitting Lion-o square in the
face with it.
“We beg to differ,” he replied.
“Thundercats, HO!” yelled the three who were not possessed by the
Deadites as they charged, weapons at hand. Tygra, Cheetara and Panthro
were outnumbered, four to three, not that they would go without a fight.
Panthro struggled with Lion-o, with Lynx-o trying to take him from
behind, chewing on his neck a little bit. Cheetara tried to hold Pumyra
at bay with her staff, wrestling around with her, while Tygra had his
hands full fighting Bengali.
Pumyra was pushing Cheetara back up against the wall, trying to choke
her with her own staff. She seemed much stronger now that she was a
Deadite. Struggling, Cheetara managed to push her legs up and pushed
Pumyra away with them. Cheetara used her staff to leap up and kick her
former friend in the jaw, and as she landed, bring her staff up and hit
her upside the face with it. Cheetara went into a world wind, spinning
her staff in her hands, hitting Pumyra again and again as rapidly as she
could. Pumyra pulled out her lasso and wrapped it around Cheetara’s
staff, and tried to yank it out of her grasp. Cheetara fought and
struggled to hang on to it, but Pumyra eventually succeeded and
Cheetara’s staff went flying through the room, hitting Deadite Lion-o in
the back of the head. Cheetara tackled Pumyra, and that proved to be
unwise. Pumyra sunk her claws into the flesh of Cheetara’s arms, and
blood squirted out. Cheetara tried to fight back the pain, and the
temptation to scream, but it was no use. Pumyra was overpowering her,
and things were starting to look black in front of her eyes.
Tygra was having his own problems with Bengali. Bengali had wrestled
Tygra to the floor and was trying to bite his nose off. Tygra worked his
legs up to Bengali’s chest and pushed up and forward, throwing him into
the Thunder Tank. Tygra got back on his feet and cracked his whip at
Bengali, cracking him right on the head. Bengali shrugged it off and
charged at Tygra. Tygra wrapped the whip around him and disappeared.
“Stupid tiger mortal!” yelled Bengali. “You can’t hide from the dead!”
Bengali swung around and hit Tygra behind him, causing him to drop his
whip and reappear, not that he could fool a Deadite. Tygra hit Bengali
back, but Bengali was stronger, and took Tygra by the throat, lifting
him off his feet and as high in the air as he could. Tygra gouged
Bengali’s white eyes, and was dropped. He kicked Bengali in the stomach,
but that didn’t even knock him down. Bengali tackled Tygra again, and
once again, he had him by the throat. Darkness began to fill the orange
Panthro had Lynx-o under his foot, literally, but Lion-o was still a
problem. Panthro had already hit Lion-o with martial art blows that
would have killed anyone else, and his lord was still unfazed. What
terrified Panthro was that he was starting to run out of steam, becoming
exhausted. If he lost, then there was no hope for anyone. “Give it up,
Panthro!” Lion-o yelled in his face. “You cannot slay the dead!
“Up yours, Lion-o!” Panthro hit him, then took his arm around and
lifted over his shoulder, then dropped him on top of Lynx-o. Panthro
jumped back to get a little bit of space between him and the Deadite
Lion-o, and when he looked around, he saw that the other Thundercats,
Tygra and Cheetara, were now Deadites. “Okay,” he sighed. “Who’s next?”
Lion-o stood up with Lynx-o, and smiled devilishly. “Get him!” And with
that, the Deadite Thundercats tackled him.
Wilykit, Wilykat, and Snarf thought they heard a yell that resembled
the voice of Panthro. “What do you thinks going on in the hangar?” asked
“I don’t know, and I don’t think I want to know.” Wilykat felt his
“I think we should check it out,” said Wilykit.
“Snarf, that could be dangerous, Wilykit.” Snarf whimpered.
“Do we really have a choice?” Kit asked.
“Yeah, we cannot go down to the hangar,” said Snarf.
“Well Wilykat, who do you side with? Me or Snarf?” Wilykit put her
brother in an awkward position, answering wise. So he closed his eyes,
and moved his finger back in forth between Wilykit and Snarf.
“Inny, meany, miny, mo,” he said, unaware that Wilykit and Snarf were
rolling their eyes at him. “Catch Tygra by his toe, if he howls, let him
go. Inny, meany, miny, mo.”
Wilykit, Wilykat, and Snarf went down to the hangar to see what was
happening. They walked slow, trying to keep from making any loud noises.
Stomachs churning, Snarf whimpering, they came ever closer to the hangar
door. When they reached the door, they stopped. Never knowing, never
suspecting, what horrors lied beyond that door.
“Well, what are you waiting for, Wilykit?” asked Wilykat. “Open the
“Why don’t you open it?” Wilykit asked.
“It was your idea to come down here.” Wilykat said.
“You were the one who labeled me as mo.” The kittens were about to
argue, but Snarf raised his hand.
“Well, neither of you has to open that door, you know.”
“Would you rather do it, Snarf?” asked Wilykat. Snarf shrugged.
“But if you absolutely have to, there’s another way. Rock, paper,
“Okay,” agreed the kittens. They turned, shook their fists for a
second, and threw out. Wilykat had a rock, Wilykit had paper. Paper
covers rock, so Wilykat stepped forward to open the door. He took his
sweet time, walking slow, extending his hand slow, even extended his
finger slow. He was going so slow he could hear and feel his heart
beating. Then the door opened, and a yellow-eyed Lion-o appeared.
“Join us!” Wilykat, Wilykit, and Snarf turned and ran away. Lion-o
followed them, with Tygra, Cheetara, Pumyra, Bengali, Lynx-o and the
just newly turned Deadite Panthro following his lead.
Snarf and the kittens pulled around a corner and tried to hide in the
shadow, hoping the other Thundercats might run the other way.
Fortunately for them, the other Thundercats did.
“Mumm-ra must have put them under a spell,” whispered Wilykit.
“Right. We’d better get out of here,” said Wilykat.
“Wait, snarf, we can’t go without the Sword of Omens,” Snarf pointed
out. “If one of them takes it to Mumm-ra, we’ll all be toast, snarf.”
“He’s right, we’ve got to get into the sword room, but how?” asked
“The air vents, snarf. It worked for me once, so it should work you
two.” Snarf pointed above the kittens and showed the air vent. Wilykit
climbed on top of Wilykat’s shoulders and Snarf crawled on top of her.
Snarf had to balance on his tail on Wilykit’s head while he tried to
yank the vent off. His efforts were nearly causing him to fall off, and
knock down the kittens as well.
“Careful, Snarf,” groaned Wilykit.
“Easy for you to say,” Snarf replied. “Last time I did this, I had
Lion-o to give me a lift.” Eventually, Snarf did manage to yank off the
vent, but he nearly fell doing it. Though he managed not to fall, he did
drop the vent rather loud.
“Crap! They’ll hear us!”
“Okay, okay, give me a second to get up there, snarf.” Snarf hoisted
himself up and into the air vent, and had a hard time turning around to
help hoist Wilykit up. Unfortunately, Wilykit could not turn around to
help up Wilykat, and even if she could, she would not have been able to
reach him from up in the air vent.
“Hey, how do I get up there now?” Wilykat asked.
“Hang on, let me get my rope out.” Wilykit fumbled around her belt
trying to get at her lasso rope, and managed to get it in all the
darkness of the air vent. Blindly, she threw it behind her and hoped
that Wilykat could grab it when it fell. “Yank when you get it.”
Wilykat grabbed rope and yanked on it, like his sister told him to do.
He put his foot up on the wall and yanked again to test if Wilykit could
support his weight. She had Snarf up there with her, but whether or not
that would help, he did not know. And he did not have time to find out.
Slowly, Wilykat climbed his way up to the vent, and then turned to look
over his shoulder at the hall. Big mistake.
“There they are!” yelled Deadite Panthro. His friends quickly joined
him, and Wilykat nearly fell.
“Help me up!” he yelled.
“We’re trying!” Wilykit and Snarf started yanking the rope up to get
Wilykat up into the air vent. He eventually made in, and the three began
to crawl forward. But Panthro grabbed Wilykat by his ankle and tried to
yank him out. Wilykat kicked at the hand of Panthro hard and
frantically, while at the same time, Snarf and Wilykit were trying to
yank him along again. By luck, Wilykat broke free of Panthro’s evil grip
and he followed along.
“They’re in the vents, we’ll never catch them now!” grunted Deadite
“Wait! If I know them, they’ll go for the Sword chamber to get the
sword of Omens!” Deadite Lion-o growled. “To the chamber! We must beat
“Are you sure you know where you’re going Snarf?” asked Wilykat.
“I’ve done this before, Wilykat.” Snarf said. “Never doubt a snarf.”
Then Snarf banged his head. “OW!” If the kittens had not been so scared,
they probably would have laughed.
For about a half an hour, the terrified snarf and kittens crawled
through the air vents, with only Snarf’s faint memory of doing this
before to guide them. But then again, Snarf had only managed to get into
the sword room by dumb luck, and Jackalman had been chasing him. It
almost made Snarf wish that Jackalman was chasing him now, so that the
adrenalin rush would push him forward. Then Snarf came to a cross road
in the air vents. He recognized it from the first time, but he did not
remember which way to go from here. The only thing to do was to do what
the Wilykat did earlier when they debated whether to go to the hangar or
“Inny, meany, miny, mo. Catch Tygra by his toe. If he growls, let him
go. Inny, meany, miny, mo.” Snarf went to his left and tried to squirm
his way through a just barely large enough hole. He had to squeeze like
there was no tomorrow, and there may not have been, but Snarf did make
it through, and Wilykit and Wilykat followed.
“Hey Snarf, have you gained weight?” asked Wilykit.
“I’m a snarf, I can’t help it.” Snarf saw the vent to the sword room up
ahead, and he fitted his pudgy fingers threw the vent holes. He tried to
push it out, but it proved to be most difficult. “Can I get some help
back there?” he asked. Wilykit started pushing on Snarf, and Wilykat
pushed her from behind.
“Push! Push, snarf!” Snarf yelled.
“We are pushing!” the kittens yelled back. Finally, the vent came out,
and Snarf with it, followed by Wilykit and Wilykat. They landed on the
floor with a thud, with Snarf on the bottom, and they lay there in a
pile for a second or two.
“Thanks for breaking our fall, Snarf,” said Wilykit.
“No problem,” sighed Snarf.
Wilykat got up and walked over to the Sword of Omens. As usual, he took
his sweet time, extending his hand real slow towards the sword and the
claw shield, like he had all the time in the world. “Hurry up, Kat!”
shouted Wilykit. Wilykat flinched and furrowed his brow at his sister.
But as his sister instructed so loudly, he grabbed the sword and the
claw shield. Strangely enough to him, the claw weighed more than the
sword. It made him wish he was more like Lion-o.
“Great,” whimpered Snarf. “Now let’s get out of here.” As soon as he
finished, the door was busted open by the Deadite Thundercats.
“You’re not going anywhere, infidel!” yelled Deadite Lion-o.
“AHH, snarf!” The Deadite Thundercats attacked the Thunderkittens and
Snarf, trying to circle them and crowd them so they could get the sword,
but the diminutive kittens and Snarf easily crawled out between Lion-o
and Panthro and ran out the door. When the Deadite Thundercats realized
that the kittens and snarf had escaped, they ran after them, howling and
cackling all the way.
Hercules strolled down the walk way with half brother Mercury towards
his father Zeus, king of the gods, most omnipotent one. He had no idea
what this was all about, but he hoped that it involved violence. He had
been bored up on Olympus for a while now. No monsters or quarrels for
him to get involved in, and all.
Hercules was still only a demigod. He had never truly been made a full
god, not that he really cared. Zeus had never brought it up, and he
never bugged Zeus about it.
The palace that Zeus lived in on Olympus was a magnificent structure.
Built from gold and silver, which Zeus could create with the snap of a
finger. Its ceilings were limitless in height, with grand, ornate
paintings above. Light shown everywhere, a sign of the serenity.
Hercules and Mercury knelt down before Zeus when the reached the end of
the walkway. Zeus was billions of years old, his hair and beard long and
gray. His thunderbolts were at his left side (Zeus was left handed) and
Hera, his wife, on his right. Hera hated Hercules, and did not even
bother to look at him. For centuries she had tried to destroy him, even
after he came to Olympus. Hercules wondered if having been born of Hera
and not a mortal woman would have made his life easier. This was not one
of those times.
“What is my bidding, father?” he asked. Mercury disappeared to the
right as Zeus arose from his throne of silver.
“Hercules, the Deadites have returned to the plain of mortals.” Zeus
had a powerful, booming voice that echoed through all Olympus when he
spoke. As a result, he sometimes woke up people. “Mumm-ra, the
ever-living, seeks to destroy us once again. Go to the plain of mortals,
Hercules, dispel the evil, and stop Mumm-ra once again.”
“Yes, father.” Hercules nodded. Zeus stood up from his throne, and
threw a thunderbolt at him. An explosion followed, accompanied by smoke
and dust. When the smoke dispersed, Hercules was gone.
Back on Third Earth
Hercules found himself standing outside a giant castle that looked like
a cat of some kind. He looked forward and saw three figures get bigger
as they ran across a bridge of some kind, with seven other creatures
pursuing them. As they got closer, they took the form of two children
with cat like appearances with a little thing that looked like a cross
between a furry dragon and a fat cat. The other seven chasing them were
adults, also cat like in appearance, with white, opaque eyes and razor
The children and their bizarre pet, as Hercules assumed it to be, with
a dagger or knife of some kind in its mouth, bumped right into him and
looked up at him with awe and wonder on their terrified faces. Hercules
was a tall, unbelievably muscular man with black hair, blue eyes, and a
dark beard filling up his face. “Hey, mister, what are you doing here?”
asked the girl, or whatever she was. “How did you get here?”
“Never mind that, Wilykit,” said Snarf, “we’ve all got to get out of
“Why?” asked Hercules.
“Because our friends have gone evil and are trying to kill us!” said
the boy, or whatever he was.
“As I expected, the Deadites have already started to possess the
living. Stay here, I’ll handle this.” Hercules ran forward to face the
At first the demon Deadite Thundercats piled on top of Hercules in an
attempt to overpower him, but he easily threw them off. Deadite Lion-o
attacked with the claw shield, but Hercules hit him hard and fast, in
the rib cage, the stomach, and finally knocking him down with a quick
bash on the back. Hercules then jumped out of the way and watched as
Deadite Cheetara and Deadite Pumyra crashed into each other in what was
meant to be an attack on him. He then turned to face the Deadite tigers,
Tygra and Bengali, who both swung at him with clenched fists, but
Hercules grabbed them by their wrists and flipped them over and left
them on the ground. Hercules stepped forward, and then jumped back as
Deadite Panthro and Deadite Lynx-o bashed into each other instead of
As Tygra got to his feet and Bengali struggled to get to his, Hercules
hit Bengali down with the bottom of his left fist and then hit Tygra
with the back of his right fist. He then grabbed both Deadite tigers by
the collars and smashed their heads together, which would have killed
the two if they were in their mortal states. Hercules then quickly
dodged Deadite Cheetara as she tried to hit him with her staff, and
instead hit Deadite Pumyra. When she tried again from Hercules tapping
her on the back of her shoulder, she hit Deadite Lion-o. Lynx-o took a
shot at Hercules, but Hercules stepped aside to the right and hit Lynx-o
on his back, knocking him down. Tygra and Bengali attacked again, and
again, Hercules knocked them both away with two simultaneous blows from
the backs of his massive fists. He then spun around to face Panthro, and
quickly dodged again as Panthro swung at him with his nun-chucks, and
ran behind him to kick him in his butt, knocking down. Hercules then
leaped over the other Thundercats with surprising ease.
Twice Lion-o swung his fists at Hercules, and twice he missed, and
Hercules swiftly hit him across the face and turned to face the next
cat. Cheetara charged at him with all speed and leaped forward to tackle
him, but he stepped aside and watched her go straight into a tree. “Hey
that staff looks nice, mind if I borrow it?” Hercules quickly grabbed
the staff off the ground and jabbed it in Panthro’s gut, then hit him on
the head with it. He started whacking all the other Thundercat Deadites
with the staff, until Cheetara grabbed the rim and tried to force it
away from him. “Let’s swing.” Hercules started spinning around and
around, lifting Cheetara off the ground and spinning her at the end of
her staff, and eventually let go, knocking her into the group of Deadite
Hercules quickly ran to the edge of the mote and grabbed a boulder.
Lifting it high above his head and charging at the Deadite Thundercats,
who were charging at him, one by one in a straight line, and threw it at
them. They all fell back like the Domino effect. Hercules then ran to
the side and grabbed a tree. Slowly, he lifted the tree out of the
ground and held the bottom of it in his hands and was swinging it as
though it was the size of a bat at the Thundercats. Knocking them down
again and again as though they were rag dolls, but they kept getting up
Snarf, Wilykit, and Wilykat watched in awe. This guy Hercules was
bigger and stronger than even Lion-o and Panthro, but he was also
incredibly fast for someone so big. Now he was succeeding where so many
others, the mutants, the Lunatacs, and even Mumm-ra the ever living, had
all failed miserably so many times.
After swinging the tree for a few minutes, Hercules held the tree over
his head and threw it at the Thundercats, who were all lined up with
their weapons. The tree knocked them to the ground and pinned them there
briefly, until they took hold of it and slowly stood up. Once back on
their feet, they raised the tree above their heads and got ready to
throw it. Then the sun rose and shined in their faces. They dropped the
tree behind them to cover their eyes. Demonic screams of pain were heard
for miles around as slowly, but surely, the Deadites left the
Thundercats and they returned to their original state of being. One by
one they were freed by the light of the sun, and one by one, they fell
to the ground, motionless, but alive, and back to normal.
“Wow,” said the two kittens and Snarf simultaneously. “I can’t believe
it. Who are you?”
“I’m Hercules, son of Zeus, most powerful man in the world, etc.”
Hercules answered as he grabbed the tree off the ground, hauled back
over to the place where he had torn it out and shoved it back in. “And
who might you all be?”
“We’re Thundercats,” replied Wilykit. “I’m Wilykit, this is Wilykat,
and this is Snarf.”
“These are your friends?” Hercules asked.
“Yeah, they got turned evil. I don’t know how, and I don’t want to
“The Deadites cannot bear the sight of the sun. Should those possessed
by the Deadites see the sun’s light, they will return to normal. Now,
how about you all help me carry them back into your castle here?”
“Alright. But who’s Zeus, and what’s a Deadite?” asked Wilykat.
“It’s a long story.”
Temple of Mumm-ra
Mumm-ra was asleep in his sarcophagus, still having the most pleasant
nightmare, when the Ancient Spirits of Evil (ASOE) awoke him. “Mumm-ra!”
they called. “Mumm-ra! Mumm-ra!”
Reluctantly, Mumm-ra got out of his sarcophagus. “I’m up, I’m up. What
is it? I was having the most wonderful nightmare. Lion-o was my servant.
Those Thundercat bitches, Cheetara and Pumyra, were my own personal
strippers, and they were putting on a swell show! Know what I mean?
“Mumm-ra, the most unfortunate has happened. The son of Zeus has
returned to Third Earth to do battle.”
“Which son? He had a couple of sons, as I recall.”
“Which one do you think?” the spirits asked.
“Hercules, you decayed idiot! Hercules!”
Mumm-ra was in shock. “I didn’t hear that.”
“Oh, yes you did.”
“No! Not him! Not Hercules! Anyone but Hercules!” Mumm-ra shouted in
“Yes. Sad, but true. Hercules has returned to Earth, and he seeks to
destroy the Deadites once again.”
“No! I thought I’d seen the last of that damned do-gooder hero! If he’s
back, we’re all in trouble!”
“Too true! Already, he has battled the Deadite Thundercats, and has
returned them to their original state. If he obtains the Necronomicon,
he will destroy the Deadites! He must be eliminated!”
“Yes, yes, I understand. Bring me the mutants! And we shall send them
to do battle with Hercules!” Mumm-ra stood over his giant pit of evil,
looking deep into the unholy liquids within, searching for Hercules.
Soon, Hercules appeared before him, he was sitting in the Thundercats
headquarters with the Thunder kittens, Wilykit and Wilykat, and that
annoying little Snarf. The other Thundercats, Lion-o, Tygra, Cheetara,
Bengali, Pumyra, Lynx-o, and Panthro, were still asleep.
“Zeus,” he was explaining to the kittens, “Is the king of the gods, the
most powerful being in existence.”
“But if he’s your father,” Wilykit interrupted, “then why aren’t you a
“My mother was a mortal woman, young Kit.”
“But why not some goddess?”
“Zeus… is something of a philanderer. He used to go down to Earth all
the time to have his way with mortal women. He wanted to have as many
children as possible because he wanted more Olympians in existence,
because his children get his power.”
“And your stepmother?”
“She doesn’t like me very much. She’s always trying to ruin my
existence. I never did anything to her, though.”
“Disgusting!” shouted a revolted Mumm-ra. “Look at him, being all kind
and friendly with them! Telling them his life’s story! The man has
“This book of the dead thing, who made it?” asked Wilykit.
“Mumm-ra. The ever-living source of evil.”
“Wow, he was alive when you were on Earth?”
“No. Technically, he was already dead. But yes, I battled him. The only
way to stop him is to show him the horror of his own reflection.”
“That doesn’t work anymore,” said Wilykit.
“Damn. I have been gone a long time. Oh well, he was always a bit of a
“Wimp?! How dare you! You’ll pay for that, insolent jackass!”
“Who’re you calling a jackass?” Mumm-ra turned and saw Slythe,
Jackalman, Monkian, and Vulture Man, the mutants.
“Ah, about time you got here! I have a job for you!”
“What is it this time, Mumm-ra?” asked Jackalman.
“Look into my cauldron, and you’ll see what it is!” The mutants came
forward and looked into the cauldron. They saw a big man with the
Thunder kittens. “That is Hercules! He is in league with the
Thundercats! You must destroy him!”
“Why?” asked Monkian.
“He is our enemy! That is why, Monkian! Any other stupid questions!”
The mutants all shook their heads. “Then be gone!”
At Cat’s Lair, the alarms started going off. Red lights shined and loud
noises went off as the equipment began to detect approaching invaders.
Hercules stood up as he heard the alarms, banged his knee against the
table, but it didn’t hurt. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“Someone’s coming this way,” Wilykat answered. “Someone who isn’t very
friendly.” His sister, Wilykit, rushed over to the controls and started
hitting all the controls to bring up the enemies on the grid.
“Look Wilykat! It’s the mutants!”
“Just what we need, snarf snarf!” Snarf yelled.
Hercules walked up to the big screen to see the ones the kittens called
the mutants. They looked like animal men from the forests of Gaul, one a
giant lizard man, a jackal man, a vulture man, and a monkey man. The
four creatures were approaching them each in his own bizarre device that
defied gravity. Hercules was not impressed, but they did look familiar.
“They don’t look so tough to me.”
“Oh, you’re gonna give us a lesson on who’s tough and who’s not, snarf
“I’ve slain monsters bigger than them,” Hercules boasted. “I think I
can handle these rejects.” Hercules walked out of the room, banging his
head on the door.
“There’s the Lair my friends! Let’s destroy it, yessss?” yelled Slythe.
“Yes!” yelled the other three mutants in agreement. Vulture man flew
his ship down for a clearer shot. He began firing at the giant head that
was the command center for the Thundercats. Monkian, Jackalman and
Slythe soon joined him, directing all firepower on the head.
“OOH-OOH! Hey! Who’s that on top of the head?” Monkian yelled, noticing
a giant figure appearing from a doorway atop the head of the Cat’s Lair
as he made a pass on his Sky Cutter.
“That would be Hercules! Yessss?” Slythe replied.
“Correct, Slythe!” Vulture Man yelled. “That is the target we’ve been
sent to destroy!”
“Then let’s do him in now, and get the Thundercats later!” Monkian
“For once, Monkian, you have the right idea, yessss?” Slythe yelled.
“Get him, mutants!” Slythe went in with his nose diver, blasting at
Hercules as he flew by. Monkian followed Slythe’s example, blasting at
Hercules then clearing the way for Vulture Man. Jackalman was the last
one to try, being a coward and all. Unbelievably, Jackalman hit Hercules
and knocked him down.
“I did it! I got him!” Jackalman sneered.
Hercules shook his head as he tried to stand back up. His flesh was
burned with lasers, but he was still alive. His head throbbing, Hercules
yanked a brick out of the head of the building. Standing up, he threw
the brick at Jackalman and hit him right on the head. After screaming in
pain like a pup, an unconscious Jackalman crashed to the ground in his
Sky Cutter (there are more than one of those things).
“Jackalman’s down!” yelled Vulture Man.
“Not that we need that cowardly dog! Yessss?” Slythe took another pass
around Hercules and shot at him, and again, he missed. Monkian closed in
on Hercules, but he did not desist. He just kept coming in head first,
intending to knock the demigod down to his dead. After waiting several
minutes, Monkian came in range and Hercules rammed his fist into
Monkian’s engine. Monkian’s Nose Diver was sent back and fell down like
a flaming stone in water.
Slythe came around again, and Hercules was ready for him. As Slythe
flew over- head, Hercules jumped onto the bottom of his Sky Cutter.
Slythe was overwhelmed by the sheer weight of Hercules, and began
fighting to keep his craft from going down.
“Vulture Man! Zap this bastard! Yessss?”
“Can do, Slythe!”
“Just don’t zap me, yessss?”
Vulture Man came in behind Slythe and began blasting low as he could.
Hercules climbed up aboard Slythe’s ship and got behind him. “Got you
now!” Vulture Man shot at Hercules, but Hercules stepped aside and
instead, Vulture Man hit the engine.
“Vulture Man, you idiot! Yessss?” Slythe screamed as his Sky cutter
crashed down below. Hercules fell to the ground with him, now at an
incredible disadvantage, for Vulture Man was still in the air on his
“You can’t get away from me, Hercules!” Vulture Man yelled as he
started shooting at Hercules. “Death from above! What? No! NO!” But it
was too late. The eye lasers in the Cat’s Lair head shot down vulture
Man’s ship. Vulture Man jumped out just before his ship crashed to the
ground in a fiery ball of scrap. Wilykit and Wilykat high- fived each
Slythe managed to dig himself out of the remains of his Sky Cutter and
looked around for his fellow mutants. After yanking out his ax, he saw
that Monkian was out and about, grunting and hooting, and carrying his
whip mace. “Come on Monkian, let’s go kill that son of a bastard,
“HOO-HOO! Yeah, let’s do it!” Monkian began swinging his mace and
“Hercules! We challenge you to do battle! Yessss?”
Hercules grinned at the Mutants. “Bring it on.”
Slythe charged at Hercules, swinging his ax, trying to cut off his
head. Hercules easily dodged it, hardly impressed with the diminutive
Mutant’s efforts. Hercules caught the ax in his hand during one of
Slythe’s clumsy passes and was about to knock him out when he saw
Monkian coming at him with the mace whip. Hercules got the whip wrapped
around his wrist when he tried to catch it and then yanked on it,
hauling Monkian over and knocking him into Slythe.
Hercules was about to pick them up, but he got blasted again and was
knocked over. He looked over and saw that it was Vulture Man, holding a
cross bow like weapon. Vulture Man shot at him again, but Hercules
rolled out of the way. Again and Again, Vulture Man shot at Hercules,
and again and again, he missed. Hercules moved surprisingly well for
someone so huge. He rolled forward towards Vulture Man, covering the
distance between them rather quickly, and kicked the gun out of his
hand. Hercules stood up, took Vulture Man by the throat, and picked him
up over his head. Vulture Man squawked in horror as Hercules threw him
into the mote that surrounded the Cat’s Lair.
Monkian woke up, shook his head to refocus his sight. Once things were
back in focus, he picked up his mace whip and rushed at Hercules, jumped
on his back and got the whip around the demigod’s throat. Hercules was
caught off guard and fell over. Hercules rolled onto his back,
suffocating Monkian as he rolled back to his feet. Hercules threw the
whip off of his neck and threw it away from Monkian’s reach. Monkian got
back on his feet and tackled Hercules. Ready this time, Hercules
remained firm as a brick wall and pushed Monkian back. Hercules swung at
Monkian, but Monkian ducked and delivered a few fast ones to Hercules’s
stomach and then started punching him in the face. Hercules returned the
favor, punching Monkian in his face and knocking him flat on his ass. He
put Monkian in a headlock, to which Monkian yelled, “Oh brother, you
smell worse than I do!”
With that, Hercules rushed to the wall and started banging Monkian’s
head into it, yelling, “Take it back! Take it back!” But Hercules did
not wait for Monkian to take it back. Instead, Hercules started hitting
him in the stomach and in the face before throwing him over to the mote.
Hercules then walked over to Slythe, who was just starting to come back
to the world. Hercules grabbed Slythe by the tail, dragged him over to
the drawbridge and tossed him in.
Hercules then noticed Jackalman was awake and had a sword in his hand.
“Come on, pretty boy!” Jackalman sneered. “I’ll murderize ya! I’ll slice
ya, dice ya, I’ll-”
With that, Jackalman dropped his sword and ran away in fear. Not paying
attention to where he was going, Jackalman ran into the mote and joined
the other mutants down the river.
“Why have you summoned us, Mumm-ra?” screeched Luna as Amuk came to a
stop at Mumm-ra’s cauldron. Luna was not alone, Chilla and Tug-Mug were
with her, but none of the other Lunatacs were there.
“It’s about time you got here, Lunatacs,” said a weary Mumm-ra. “I had
a feeling this would happen. Those incompotent mutants have failed me
“What did they fail at, Mumm-ra?” Luna asked.
“They were suppose to destroy Hercules, and he tossed their worthless
mutant hides into the mote that surrounds the Thundercat lair.”
“Who the Hell is Hercules?” asked Chilla.
“Hercules is the son of Zeus, insolent Lunatac!” Mumm-ra yelled. Waving
his hand over his cauldron, Mumm-ra revealed the images of Hercules
battling the Deadite Thundercats and the mutants.
“He looks like a first class wimp to me! But the others must be even
bigger wimps if he kicked their ass’s!” chuckled Tug-Mug.
“He is far more than he appears to be, Lunatac! He could crush your
heart with his bear fist!”
“So what’s this got to do with us?” asked Chilla.
“I, Mumm-ra, the ever-living, charge you with the task of destroying
“And if we say no?” asked Tug-Mug.
“Then,” Mumm-ra paused, and then zapped Tug-Mug with a bolt of
lightning. “DIE!” Tug-Mug fell on his back, fried, but alive.
“We get the picture, Mumm-ra, don’t be so pushy!” screeched Luna. “It’s
a shame to waste such a hunk, but I’d rather not take my chances. Come
forth, Lunatacs, let us destroy this Hercules in glorious battle and
show all who the superior beings are!”
“Whatever.” Chilla followed Luna and Amuk, with Tug-Mug lagging behind.
Back at Cat’s Lair, Wilykit, Wilykat, and Snarf continued to watch over
the other Thundercats while Hercules further explained the Book of the
Dead to Wilykit, Wilykat, and Snarf. The other Thundercats were still
“So what you’re saying is that this book can create a portal that will
send all those Deadites back to another time?” Wilykat.
“Yes.” Hercules scratched his beard. “We must find the book and get it
back. We’ll go as soon as your friends are better.” The alarms went off
again. “Now what?” Wilykit ran over to the computer.
“It’s the Lunatank! The Lunatacs are coming!” Hercules walked over to
the computer and looked at the screen. There was a bizarre looking
weapon coming approaching the Lair.
“Give me a minute with them.”
Hercules walked outside to face the Lunatank. “There he is, Red Eye!”
screeched Luna. “Get him! Blast him! Destroy him!”
“Okay, okay, just shut up.” Red Eye worked the controls and shot a
deadly beam of energy at Hercules. And missed completely. Hercules ran
forward, charging the Lunatank, ducking, dodging, and rolling out of the
way whenever they shot at him.
“He’s much faster than he looks!” screeched Luna.
“Perhaps some cold feet will slow him down,” said Chilla, getting up
from her seat and trying to go outside to get Hercules, who now stood in
one place, waiting for the Lunatank to come and get him.
“Sit down Chilla!” screeched Luna. “We’ve almost got him! We’ll run him
As soon as the Lunatank pulled up, Hercules bent down, grabbed the
front with his bare hands, and lifted it up. “What? What is happening?
“He-he’s picking us up! I can’t stop him!” The next thing the Lunatacs
knew, their tank was thrown over, and they went flying every which way
After suffering some bad landings inside their tank, Luna sighed, “That
man… has the strength of the devil…”
“No…” said Alluro. “The strength of a god.” Luna passed out, as did
Amuk and Red Eye, but Tug-Mug, Chilla, and Alluro were still awake.
Alluro, however, was trapped under his seat. Chilla and Tug-Mug got out
Hercules was confronted by two creatures, the Lunatacs, one a short
ugly man, the other a tall, ugly woman. “So you’re the Lunatacs.”
“And you’re Hercules,” said Chilla. Chilla shot out a blast of ice at
Hercules, trapping him in a block of ice. “Correction, you were
Hercules,” Chilla laughed. Then she and Tug-Mug noticed that Hercules
began to shift, move, and twitch inside his block of ice. Hercules broke
out of the box of ice, sending flying ice debris everywhere, and
shocking the Mistress of ice.
Hercules charged at Tug-Mug and was zapped by the Lunatac’s cannon. At
first he felt nothing, but then, he noticed that he was moving slower,
and suddenly, he was kneeling to the ground, barely able to keep his own
head up. “What’s the matter, Hercules? The weight of the world on your
shoulders? HAHAHAHAHAHA!” Slowly, but surely, Hercules began to stand
up, defying the magic of Tug-Mug’s gravity powers. Tug-Mug was shocked.
“What gives? No one can break my gravity control! No one!” Suddenly
there was a bolt of lightning in the air and storm began to sound.
Tug-Mug and Chilla looked up. “Huh? I don’t remember a storm in today’s
“NO MORTAL CREATURE WILL EVER TRIUMPH OVER A SON OF ZEUS!” echoed the
powerful, booming voice of the king of the gods. Tug-Mug and Chilla
watch in horror as Hercules stood up straight like a man and shook off
the gravity beam. Grinning, Hercules took the gravity cannon away from
Tug-Mug and broke it over his head. With Tug-Mug dazed, Hercules began
pummeling him like a boxing bag. Hercules then felt a sudden chill as
his head was encased in a block of ice by Chilla. Hercules knocked his
fist on the ice block around his face and shook off the frozen headache
he felt. He picked up Tug-Mug and held him in front like a shield as
Chilla tried to blast him again with her freezing beam. After Tug-Mug’s
back became frozen, Hercules threw him at Chilla, pinning her up against
With his two enemies defeated, Hercules had planned to pick up the
Lunatank and toss it over a cliff, but his head hurt too much. His head
felt like it was half frozen, which made him a bit disoriented. He
stumbled around for a few minutes, trying to get his bearings, then a
light flashed in his eyes and a strange, unfamiliar voice was heard.
“Hello there, friend,” said Alluro, shining the light from his stick in
Hercules’s eyes. “What brings you here these days?”
“I am Alluro, your master,”
“Master… the son of Zeus has no master…” Hercules was too disoriented to
fully have his mind controlled.
“You do now. There’s no point in fighting me, Hercules, you have no
power to do so-” Then Alluro’s talisman was shattered by a bolt of
“I don’t think so, Alluro!” shouted the lord of the Thundercats.
“HO!” Lion-o aimed the sword of Omens and this time, he zapped Alluro.
Alluro fell to the ground, fried like a piece of chicken. “Now,
Thunderkittens! Do it now!” Wilykit and Wilykat responded, and zapped
the Lunatank with the lasers in the Cat’s Eyes. Hercules fell on the
ground, and Lion-o grabbed him and hauled him back towards the Cat’s
Lair while the Lunatank blew up in a blazing glory and began to burn
like wood. “Oh god you’re heavy.”
In the lair, Wilykit and Wilykat explained everything to Lion-o, the
Book of the Dead, the Deadites, Mumm-ra, everything. “So according Herc,
we can use the book to send the evil back.”
“We must get the book then and rid Third Earth of this Evil Dead as soon
as possible,” said Lion-o. “If we’re going to do it, we must get the
Book of the Dead. If I remember correctly, we left the book back the
Tower of Omens.” Lion-o scratched his head and looked at the
Thunderkittens. “Kit, Kat, you and Snarf stay here while I go get the
Book of the Dead.”
“Aw, Lion-o let us come with you,” whined the kittens.
“No, there’s no telling what evil may attack us out there. And someone
has to stand vigil over the Lair and the other Thundercats and Hercules
while they’re still out.”
“Snarf, snarf, don’t go yet Lion-o,” said Snarf. “It’s getting dark out
“Yeah, wait till morning, then we can come with you,” tried Wilykat.
“The other Thundercats’ll probably be awake by then,” added Wilykit.
“We can’t wait,” said Lion-o. “I’ll take the Thundertank. Be brave,
Thunderkittens, Snarf, I’ll be back as soon as possible.” Lion-o put his
hand out and waited for the kittens and Snarf to put their hands on top
of his. “Thundercats, HO!” Lion-o left the control room.
“We always miss out on the fun.”
(The Thundertank rolls out with the roof up and disappears into the
Hours later, Lion-o pulled up to the Tower of Omens in the Thundertank.
Lion-o jumped out of the tank and saw that it was darker than usual,
with a cold, disturbing mist. He felt an unpleasant jolt of acid in his
stomach as he entered the Tower.
Its quiet. A little too quiet, Lion-o thought as he traveled the
darkened hallways of the Tower of Omens. Lion-o spent about two and a
half hours wandering around the Tower, looking for the book and found
nothing. He went in and out of every room, looked in every cabinet and
under every counter, and found nothing. “I never realized how big this
place was.” Lion-o entered what must have been the fifty-fourth room he
had seen in the last two and a half hours and saw the book lying on the
floor. It was even more hideous and grotesque than he remembered it
being when Bengali found it in the old castle.
Lion-o caught sight of a mirror, and noticed something strange about
his reflection. His reflection moved on it’s own. Suspecting the worst,
Lion-o rushed forward and struck the mirror with the Sword of Omens.
Shattered pieces of glass fell to the ground within one second. Lion-o
bent down and picked up a shard of glass, looked into it, saw nothing
unnatural, and dropped it.
As Lion-o turned and walked away, a new evil arose from the shards of
glass. Tiny, evil Lion-os emerged and gathered around to watch their
“father” walk away, with only intentions of evil on their minds. “Hey!”
shouted one of them, “Let’s scare the good guy!”
“Yeah!” The tiny Lion-os grabbed a fork and looked at their target,
Lion-o, as he bent down to pick up the Necronomicon. “Ramming speed!”
yelled the leader as they charged forward and stabbed Lion-o right in
the rear end. Lion-o yelled and jumped up, banging his head. The tiny
Lion-os ganged up around (big) Lion-o’s ankles and started biting and
scratching at his flesh. Lion-o yelled again and danced around
foolishly, trying to throw them off.
Lion-o looked down and saw one laughing at him. Lion-o took out the
Sword of Omens, eyed the little critter, and the tiny evil version of
himself ran away. “You little.” Lion-o threw the sword and pinned the
little monster against the wall, killing him. As Lion-o stepped forward,
he was stripped by the evil versions of himself, and fell face flat on
the ground. The little monsters ran up to his head and tried to yank his
hair out. Lion-o swiped at them, to no avail.
“Sword of Omens, come to my hand!” he yelled. The sword removed itself
from the dead evil little Lion-o and went into the hand of its master.
Lion-o got up on his knees, aimed, and zapped one of his smaller
versions, frying him. He aimed again and again at the others, but kept
missing. Again, one of the little monsters was laughing at him for his
inability to hit him. Lion-o got up on his feet and started stomping the
ground, then stomped after the little him, who was running away.
“Cat’s Lair Bridge is falling down!” sung Lion-o as he chased the
little monster. “Falling down! Falling down! DAHAHAHAHAOWN!” Eventually,
the little him tripped and could not get back on his feet. He looked up
to see Lion-o’s foot coming down, reached over to grab a nail, and
blindly held it in front of him. Lion-o stepped on the nail, and not the
little him, and he recoiled in pain.
“My fair lady, HA!” finished the four other Lion-os. Lion-o hopped back
on his other foot, his mouth wide open, slowly bringing his other leg
up, he grabbed the nail and yanked on it. He eventually yanked it out,
but lost his balance and fell down in the process. The fall of his body
shook the floor and knocked down the little evil Lion-os.
Lion-o slowly opened his eyes to see the ceiling of the Tower of Omens.
“Huh? Hmm. What a horrible nightmare.” Lion-o chuckled to himself. He
tried to get up, but he could not. In fact, he could not move anything.
“Wait a minute. By Jaga! I can’t move!” Lion-o moved his eyes back and
forth and found that the evil versions of him had tied him down, ala
Gulliver’s Travels. It was the Micrits incident all over again. As he
looked above, he saw two evil Lion-os dropping another down on his face.
Two other Lion-os, one on the right, one on the left, pushed his
Lion-o’s nostrils in. Unable to get air through his nose, Lion-o opened
his mouth, and the little Lion-o dived in. Lion-o felt the evil him work
his way down his throat, inflicting considerable pain.
“Hooray!” yelled the smaller Lion-os. “Hooray! Hooray!” Their laughter
and merriment soon faded away as Lion-o slowly sat up, tearing out their
string ropes and clutching his throat.
Lion-o noticed the sword was still on his side in the claw, the evil
Lion-os didn’t take it off. Big mistake. Lion-o reached down, pulled it
out, and aimed.
“NOOO-HAHAHA-OOO!” The smaller Lion-os began to run away, two pulling
one by his arms. Lion-o shot out a blast from the Sword of Omens and
fried them as he had fried the other one. Lion-o put the sword back in
the claw shield and stood up, still clutching his throat.
Evil laughter emitted from his stomach. The evil little him had made
his way down and was now causing havoc with his digestive system. It was
swimming around, doing backstrokes and the like. “Why you little-”
Whatever Lion-o was about to say, it was cut off when he noticed a
bizarre pain in his left shoulder. Lion-o looked over and noticed an
eye was protruding itself from his shoulder.
“By Jaga! It’s getting bigger! AHHO!” Lion-o yelled as he ran outside
of the Tower of Omens. Now, a head was protruding through the shoulder.
Lion-o looked over and saw himself, laughing maniacally at nothing.
The two heads of Lion-o howled as they moved along, trying to go in
opposite directions. The head growing on the left shoulder swung his
fist up and punched Lion-o, whose head had been pushed to the right.
Lion-o got bitched slapped and punched again as he fought for dominance.
Unable to stand the maniacal laugh of his left head, Lion-o poked the
laughing head in the eyes with his fingers.
“OW! I’m blind! I’m blind! BLEGH!” The left head hit Lion-o with his own
hand again. Then it put on the claw shield and hit him, knocking the
body back towards a tree. Lion-o reached over to the claw shield and
managed to yank it off his left hand, then hit his evil left head with
it. Then a new pain began. Lion-o felt like he was being torn apart by
the left head as it veered off to the side. The pain increased as the
two heads stretched away, and Lion-o felt that something was being torn
further and further away from himself.
Finally, they snapped. Lion-o stood with one head, his, on his shoulders
and looked at the him who had sprung from his shoulder. Lion-o put his
claw shield back on his left hip as he studied this new twin, who smiled
wickedly, a look of dementia in his eyes, and except for the wicked
smile and the evil, demented look in his eyes, the other him was an
exact duplicate. “Who are you?” Lion-o asked. “What are you? Are you
“I’m bad Lion-o,” replied the other Lion-o. “And you’re good Lion-o.
You’re a goody little two-shoe. You’re a goody little two-shoe. Goody
little two-shoe,” the creature repeated again and again as he started
dancing around like an idiot.
“You’re a goody little two-shoe!” Without warning evil Lion-o punched
he who spawned him right in the face. He punched (good) Lion-o again,
catching him off guard, and again and again and again, distracting
Lion-o each time with a gesture of some kind before actually hitting
him. “Goody little two-shoe!” After a few seconds, Lion-o got mad, and
he pulled out the Sword of Omens, raising it high above his head.
“Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats! HO!” The sword grew to full
length in seconds, with the eye of Thundera casting its signal high in
the sky. Then evil Lion-o punched Lion-o again.
“Goody little two-shoe! HAHAHA!” Evil Lion-o punched good Lion-o again,
but got a surprise this time. “Huh?” Lion-o brought the sword down,
blade right in his face, touching the nose. Evil Lion-o stared at Good
Lion-o in disbelief. Lion-o nodded at his evil twin, then blasted him in
the face. Blood burst from the face of evil Lion-o as he was sent flying
through the air, crashing into a tree and then onto the ground.
Lion-o walked to the body of his evil twin. “Good. Bad. I’m the guy
with the Sword of Omens.” Lion-o pointed his sword towards the ground,
and blasted away. A giant hole appeared. Lion-o quickly swung around
with the sword, slicing off the head of his evil twin who had risen up
from the ground. Lion-o proceeded to mutilate the body, which had not
fallen, then threw every piece into the hole, saving the head for last.
“That’ll teach ya.” Lion-o pointed his finger in the face of the severed
head. “That’ll teach ya!” Lion-o kicked the head into the hole, but the
head looked up after landing.
“You’ll never defeat Mumm-ra! You’ll rot in the grave while the Army of
Darkness plunders the third world!”
“Hey, uh, what’s that you got on your face?” Lion-o asked
“Huh?” The evil Lion-o’s head shifted its eyes to try and see if there
was anything on his face. Lion-o then tossed a pile of dirt on his face.
“I’ll come back for you!”
“Eat dirt.” Using the Sword of Omens, Lion-o buried his evil twin in a
matter of seconds under a new pile of dirt.
Mumm-ra saw what had happened and was happening in his cauldron of
evil. Hercules had defeated both the mutants and the Lunatacs, was now
on the sidelines with a frozen headache, and in his absence, Lion-o had
gone to the Tower of Omens, found the book, and defeated the evil
spirits and his own twin. In the cauldron, Lion-o was running out of the
tower with the book, jumping in the Thundertank and was now heading back
to the Cat’s Lair. “God damn it! Can’t those stupid mutants and Lunatacs
do anything right! Now Lion-o has obtained the Necronomicon from the
tower and plans to send back my lovely Deadites to a time long ago!
Well, I’ll fix that! And who knows, maybe those stupid misfits will come
in handy yet!” Mumm-ra psyched himself up and got ready for the
transformation. “ANCIENT SPIRITS OF EVIL, TRANSFORM THIS DECAYED FORM TO
MUMM-RA THE EVER LIVING! GHAAAAA!” In a matter of deafening seconds,
Mumm-ra was transformed into his super warrior self and flew out to find
the corps of the dead evil Lion-o.
In the Thundertank, Lion-o felt an evil presence pass over his head, a
presence marked by an evil laugh. Lion-o looked down at the scanners and
saw that Mumm-ra had just passed overhead. “No! God damn it! Mumm-ra is
no doubt out to resurrect my evil twin! But I can’t go after him now! I
have to get back to Cat’s Lair!” Lion-o put his foot down on the pedal
as hard as he could, getting as much speed out of the Thundertank as he
could get. “I only hope that Hercules is awake and able to dispel the
Mumm-ra landed at the Tower of Omens a section of dirt that would be
disturbed. Being a creature of darkness, Mumm-ra could see anything and
everything in the dark. He eventually found a rectangle of dirt that was
displaced and altered from the rest of the dirt. Mumm-ra held out his
hand and a bolt of purple lightning shot out at the rectangle. In a
matter of seconds the mutilated Evil Lion-o was reassembled, looking
decayed and uglier than before, with his bottom jaw now closing in front
of his top jaw. He looked over at Mumm-ra, approached him, and knelt
“What is my bidding, oh dark lord?” asked evil Lion-o.
“Arise, noble freak,” instructed Mumm-ra. “Listen to me. Lion-o plans
destroy your kind by having Hercules read the incantations that will
send us back to a time long ago. You want to kill Lion-o, don’t you?”
“More than anything, Mumm-ra.”
“Then come with me, and we shall have a victory that no pathetic mortal
could ever comprehend!” Mumm-ra put his hand on Evil Lion-o’s shoulder
and walked along with him.
Slythe stirred and looked around his surroundings. He was in the
Thundercats mote. He looked to his left and saw the Lunatacs and what
was left of their tanks. To his right, he saw his fellow mutants and
what was left of their sky cutters and nose divers. The other mutants
were beginning to stir as well, and so were the Lunatacs. Slythe looked
up and saw that it was night. Then he heard a shrieking noise that could
only one creature could cause.
“Slythe? What are you doing here, you ridiculous excuse for a mutant?”
“Freezing in the water, yes-s-s.”
“So that Hercules got you too, eh?”
“You’ll never learn.”
“Cram it, you puny, pompous, Lunatac, before I cram you myself,
“You miserable creature!” shrieked Luna.
“You’re not so tough without Amuk around, yes-s-s.”
“I don’t need Amuk to take care of miserable mutant!”
“You’re lucky that I’m still too tired to take care of you properly,
Slythe felt Jackalman jump on his back as he whined and whimpered.
“What is it, you cowardly dog?”
“Didn’t you just hear it?”
“Hear it. It said ‘Join us!’. We’re doomed Slythe! Doomed!” Jackalman
whined as Slythe threw him off and into the freezing water.
“Get a hold of yourself, Jackalman! I heard nothing, yes-s-s.”
“I heard that, Slythe!” shrieked Luna. Slythe listened closer.
“Now that I heard, yes-s-s.” Slythe looked over his shoulder, but it
was too late.
Hercules woke up on the round table that Thundercats used during their
meetings, finally recovered from the frozen headache Chilla had given
him earlier. He looked around and found the room to be empty. The
sleeping Thundercats were all gone, as were the Thunderkittens and
Snarf. “Thundercats!” Hercules called out. He got up off the table and
walked around, calling their names. Nothing. “Where is everybody?”
“Long time no see, Hercules.”
Seconds later, Hercules found himself up to his pectorals in Lunatacs,
mutants and Thundercats, now all possessed by the Deadites. Mumm-ra did
not take part in the brawl; he simply hung back, watched, and laughed as
Hercules tried to fight all the creatures at once. He had mutants
stabbing here, Thundercats biting and clawing at him there, Lunatacs on
his back, etc. Deadite Tygra tried to strangle him with his whip, but
Hercules rammed his head into a wall.
Lion-o had the Cat’s Lair in sight as he came ever closer in the
Thundertank. I should feel relaxed, thought Lion-o, but not till the
evil has been dispelled. As Lion-o got closer, the eyes in the Cat’s
Lair began to glow. Before Lion-o knew what was happening, the eyes shot
out laser bolts at the Thundertank. Lion-o swerved out of the way just
in time to miss being blasted into bits.
“What the Hell was that all about?!” Lion-o asked to no one in
particular, as he was all alone in the tank. “This is no way to welcome
home the Lord of the Thundercats! Something’s wrong! Very wrong!”
Lion-o swerved again to miss being blasted by the eyes of his own lair,
and swerved yet again. Lion-o began swerving the tank so much, he felt
like he was going to throw up. He managed to get the Thundertank pass
the laser blasts and pass the draw bridge, out of range of the lasers.
Just as Lion-o opened the hatch, Hercules landed on it, causing an
incredible dent. “What the Hell? Hercules?”
Lion-o saw that the entrance doors were knocked down and out came
Mumm-ra. “Welcome home, Lion-o! You’re just in time to meet my new Army
of Darkness! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” From all around them, dark, evil
creatures who sprung from the sides of the lair surrounded Lion-o and
Hercules. It was the mutants, the Lunatacs, and the Thundercats, all of
them this time, even Snarf.
“Mumm-ra broke into your castle here and took control of your friends
while I was still out,” explained Hercules, rolling off the tank. “I’m
“No!” yelled Lion-o.
“Yes!” Lion-o looked up and from high atop Cat’s Lair, a creature about
his size jumped down and landed beside Mumm-ra. It was his evil twin,
“It seems we’re outnumbered, Lion-o!” observed Hercules. “Zeus my
father I have failed. But if we die, at least we’ll take some of them
“No! It can’t end this way!” Lion-o yelled defiantly. Then he heard a
heavenly voice with a British accent.
“The Eye of Thundera, Lion-o.” Jaga, deceased lord of the Thundercats
appeared, glowing bright blue. “Use the Eye of Thundera, Lion-o,”
instructed Jaga. “Its power, its light, will free the Thundercats from
the evil spirits that possess them. Use the Eye of Thundera, Lion-o, it
will not fail you.” Then Jaga disappeared.
“The Eye of Thundera, of course!” Lion-o raised the Sword of Omens
above his head and yelled “Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats! HO!”
The sword grew and the Cat Signal appeared in the sky.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled Mumm-ra.
The opaque eyes of the Thundercats glowed yellow, then the color of
their true eyes returned as they returned. “HO!”
Thundercats Ho! What does that mean? Hercules wondered as Lion-o and
the newly released Thundercats battled against the mutants and Lunatacs
before joining the battle himself. It was just like the good old days
again for Hercules as he and the Thundercats battled against the mutants
and the Lunatacs. Hercules felt the fight was much more fun this time
since the mutants and Lunatacs were possessed by the Deadites. The
Deadite power made them all the stronger and tougher, and that drew out
the fight longer, and that made it all the more fun for him.
Wilykit and Wilykat thought it was horrifying to watch Lion-o battle
himself. The fact that the evil twin was differentiated by his ugly,
decaying zombie appearance and by the sight of Snarf
chewing/gnawing/biting his leg in a vain attempt to help Lion-o didn’t
help to alleviate the horror that twisted in their stomachs.
Bengali and Pumyra fought back to back, Pumyra keeping Deadite Chilla
at bay while Bengali dealt with Deadite Slythe. “You were right,
Pumyra,” growled Bengali as he deflected Slythe’s blade with his hammer.
“I should’ve gotten rid of that damn book!”
“Never mind that now, Bengali, we’ve got more immediate problems!”
Lynx-o had jumped on Deadite Red Eye’s back, trying to hold him in a
headlock while Panthro was hitting him in the stomach. “Hold him steady
Lynx-o! I think he’s starting to give in!”
“What do you think I’ve been trying to do, Panthro?” Lynx-o asked as he
fought to keep his grip.
Deadite Luna had jumped on Wilykit’s back and was trying to bite her
neck and yank her hair out while Wilykat was riding on Amuk. “Hang on,
Wilykit! I’ve got an idea!”
“That scares me, Wilykat! You having an idea!” Wilykit spun around and
saw Wilykat charging at her with Deadite Amuk. Wilykit threw Deadite
Luna forward, slamming her right into Amuk’s face. Wilykat jumped off as
Amuk fell over.
“That wasn’t my idea, but it’ll do.”
“What was your idea?”
“Run Luna over with Amuk.”
All around, the violence continued. Tygra tied his whip around Deadite
Alluro’s ankles and pulled, causing the giant Lunatac to fall forward
and into Cheetara’s staff. Lion-o continued to battle his evil twin in a
ferocious dual to the death. Hercules had Deadite mutant after Deadite
mutant jumping on top of him, biting and clawing, and eventually having
to throw them off. In all this chaos, Hercules saw Mumm-ra rummaging
through the Thundertank, and eventually take out the Necronomicon X
Mortis; the Book of the Dead.
“Behold Thundercats, the triumph of Mumm-ra! The ever-living!
NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Mumm-ra leapt into the air and began to fly away.
“No!” Hercules ran forward, slapping away all the Deadite mutants and
Lunatacs who tried to attack him, jumped on top of the Thundertank and
leapt into the air after Mumm-ra, grabbing him by the legs. “Hey, you’ve
been lifting, what’s your max?”
“What? GHA! ARGH! Get off of me in my moment of egotistical triumph,
you steroid chomping fool!” Mumm-ra began struggling, trying to push his
legs apart to throw Hercules off, but Hercules was stuck to him like a
magnet to metal.
“Bengali! Cheetara! Lynx-o! Panthro! We’ve got to bring Mumm-ra down,
and I think I know how!” yelled Lion-o.
“How?” asked one after the other.
“We’ll concentrate all our fire power on Lynx-o’s light shield, then
Lynx-o will have to deflect the beam up at Mumm-ra and fry him!”
“What about Hercules?” asked Cheetara. “He’s up there too, we might hit
“We’ve got no choice Cheetara! Unless Lynx-o can aim the beam right up
into Mumm-ra’s face. Do you think you can do that, Lynx-o?”
“I can try, Lion-o.”
“Alright, get into position.” Lion-o, Bengali, Panthro and Cheetara
lined up in front of Lynx-o. “Ready, aim, Thundercats, HO!” The
Thundercats aimed their weapons at Lynx-o’s light shield, and Lynx-o
reflected the brilliant, blinding beam upwards, hitting Mumm-ra in the
face. Mumm-ra let out a hideous scream as he fell to the ground,
dropping the book in the process. Mumm-ra landed on top of Hercules with
“The Necronomicon!” somebody yelled. Wilykat ran, leapt into the air,
and caught it.
“I’ve got it!” he yelled. “I’ve got it!”
“No, I’ve got it.” Wilykat looked up, and he got a fist in the face
from evil Lion-o.
Evil Lion-o picked up the Necronomicon X Mortis and held it up. “Now I
will be supreme!”
“I don’t think so!” Lion-o charged at his evil twin, and sliced off the
arm that had the misfortune to be connected to the hand holding the
book. The book fell to the ground, covered by an infestation of worms
and maggots that had been eating away at evil Lion-o’s arm. Evil Lion-o
grabbed the sword and tried to wrestle it away from he who spurned him.
Lion-o eventually dropped the sword and started pounding his fists into
his evil twin’s face and chest.
“The book!” Lion-o took a break from beating his evil twin, bent down,
picked up the book, and threw it to Hercules, who had Alluro under his
foot and Monkian in a head lock. “Recite the passages!” Lion-o resumed
beating up his evil twin while Hercules flipped through the pages,
looking for the spell he needed.
“No!” Mumm-ra screamed. Mumm-ra wanted to zap Hercules, but he was too
weak, he had to return to his sarcophagus. “God damn it! I came so
close!” Mumm-ra took off into the air and flew for his pyramid.
“NOS VERATOS! HALLANIMNON CONTA!” Hercules yelled as the battle waged
on. Lion-o had picked up the Sword of Omens and was now hacking away at
his evil twin. “CONTA! HALLUSA VERNANIA! HAI NAI EYE HACKAZEAM!
Then, in the midst of all the fighting, a breeze began to blow. A
breeze that got stronger with each passing moment. Then the breeze
became a wind, and the wind became a hurricane as a giant, gaping hole
of black and blue appeared out of nowhere right in front of Cat’s Lair.
“Thundercats! It is the rift in time and space that will send the evil
back! Get back into your lair while you still can!”
As soon as Hercules had spoken, the Thundercats ran for the doors that
would let them into their lair. Cheetara grabbed the Thunderkittens and
made it in first. Tygra threw out his whip and caught Lynx-o. With help
from Lion-o, Panthro, Hercules, and Snarf, Tygra began to pull Lynx-o
towards the doors while Bengali and Pumyra joined them.
“SNARF SNARF! I don’t like the look of that hole!” whined Snarf.
“Quit whining and help us pull!”
After Lynx-o, Bengali, and Pumyra were inside, Panthro, Lion-o, and
Hercules tried to pull the doors shut, which was hard with such a strong
wind sucking against them. The tried to focus on closing the doors and
not on the possessed mutants and Lunatacs who were being sucked into the
portal. Ungodly screams were heard as the mutants and Lunatacs
disappeared into a black and blue void.
“Zeus my father, I have triumphed!” Hercules yelled as the portal
closed and disappeared.
The next day…
Hercules had to bid farewell to the Thundercats and return to Mt.
Olympus with the Book of the Dead. “I’d like to stay longer,” he
admitted, “but I must return to Olympus and make sure the book never
falls into the wrong hands again.”
“We thank you for your help, Hercules,” said Lion-o. “All of Third
Earth is in your debt.”
“Ah, I used to do this stuff all the time.” Then Hercules grinned for
“What’s so funny?” asked Lion-o.
“I just remembered something that happened a long time ago. Be seeing
you, may the gods watch over you all.” Hercules shook hands with Lion-o
and the Thundercats and walked away. He stopped, and waited, from a
cloudless sky, a bolt of lightning came down struck him. And then, he
Wilykit walked over to Lion-o and nudged him. “I know I’ll get punched
in the mouth for this, but if I don’t ask, I’ll go nuts.” Wilykit paused
and then, furrowing her eyebrows, asked “Who was that man?”
“T’was no man,” said Tygra. “He was more than man. A god, perhaps. We
may never know.”
“What I’m more curious about though, is what happened to the Mutants
and Lunatacs,” said Cheetara.
“Who knows, Cheetara,” replied Lion-o. “Who knows?”
Ancient Rome, 35 B.C.
Slythe and Luna, along with the Mutants and Lunatacs, were chained in a
prison of some kind and awaiting execution by some herald. “Who do you
think they’ll send to do the deed, Slythe?” asked Vultureman.
“I don’t know,” replied Slythe. Then footsteps were heard as someone
came closer to their room. “But I think we’re about to find out,
The door opened, and a huge figure entered, his face hidden in shadow.
Then he stepped into the light, and his face was seen. The mutants and
the Lunatacs screamed in horror. It was Hercules.
Sam Raimi & Robert Tapert
Larry Kenney - Lion-O, Jackalman, Evil Lion-O, Small Lion-Os
- Kevin Sorbo - Hercules
- Lynne Lipton - Cheetara, Wilykit, Luna
- Earl Hyman - Panthro, Redeye, Ancient Spirits of Evil, Hammerhand
- Robert McFadden - Snarf, Alluro, Slythe,
- Peter Newman - Tygra, Wilykat, Monkian, Bengali
- Earl Hammond - Jaga, Mumm-Ra, Tug-Mug, Vultureman
- Doug Preis - Lynx-O
- Gerianne Raphael - Pumyra, Chilla
Disclaimer: These are the voices of the Thundercats and their enemies,
but they did not voice this story. They are mentioned purely for humor.
The above-mentioned director and producer, Sam Raimi, along with
producer Robert Tapert and co-producer Bruce Campbell, did not direct
and produce this story. Sam, Robert and Bruce starred, directed, and
co-produced THE EVIL DEAD trilogy, and are mentioned purely for humor.
And Kevin Sorbo is merely mentioned because he is the most recent
Hercules, and is mentioned only for humor (actually, the Hercules in the
story is based more on Steve Reeves in appearance). THE EVIL DEAD are
trademarks of Sam’s company, whatever it is, and the Thundercats are
trademarks of LORIMAR television, Rankin Bass, and whatever else. These
credits are purely for humor and are not meant to be taken seriously.
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